Well, I have just about had it. I am broke, it sucks. I am stressed and drained to the max.

So, I am having a Bloody Mary, maybe it will put me to sleep. Actually this is my 2nd. woohoo for me. Going to run out of cigs and that will really put me on a limb. I don't get my check until Wed. ughhhhhhhhhhhhh

I have been stretched to the limit. This past week has been bouts of crying and deep depression, then I am okay. Can't explain it really.

Yesterday I took some of those diet Hydroxcut and had energy, which felt good. I even stayed up later. Maybe that's the bomb I need under my butt.

Today, no don't want to do that, messes up my stomach somewhat.

I don't know what I am saying, well I do, but it's all overwhelming and seems to be mounting.

I wish for so many things, I pray, but yet nothing good seems to happen.

One year of illness's with my mom, thank GOD she pulled through, and now this crap with a total abuser of a husband. Then the holidays coming, oh no can't do it, I just can't, I can't, I can't, I can't.......nooooooooooooooooo

I have so much to say, but would take up to much space and who the hell wants to hear it over and over, not me, so not anyone else either.

Everyone enjoy the weekend......wish you were here.

I take you all to court with me when I go, I picture you are all sitting there with me, it helps. Going to take some klonapin for anxiety and sleep and pain meds soon, I rearranged the living room yesterday and now I am paying for it.

If I went to sleep and didn't wake up, it would probably be a blessing. Everytime I tried, it didn't work, so maybe if I don't try so hard, it will work.
Make sense, probably not. Who cares, not me. Can't even check myself in anywhere, who would take care of my mom, well she is doing good now, but the dogs and birds and all. So have to do it my way.

Hugs, Nikko