[Pamster]

He outright said he didn't think he could do it so that is what made me back down, I don't want to give up on things yet I guess. Lord what is wrong with me?

[bizi]

What a great idea donna!
((((HUGS))))
beth
edited:
I jsut read your last post pammy,
I am sorry that this is so hard.
(((((HUGS)))))
beth

[Curious]

Pam

What about still leaving when you planned to, just do it as a break?

Leaving doesn't have to be forever. A trial separation to see how everyone does? They might just shape up. Really miss you and be willing be willing to make changes.

It may end up you don't move back home. That may be what is best for everyone. You will never know if you stay.

Just an idea. I'm sure you have so many going through your mind. We are here to support you. No matter what.

[Curious]

Me again.

I think we were all posting at the same time. I'm slow right now. One handed..the left one, which I am not.

Relationships change and evolve. Your relationship with Jack with never be over. You have a son.

What is is right now, doesn't sound good for anyone. Trying something new, may just be the key to what your relationship is supposed to be right now.

[Mari]

Pam,

I posted about this last night and then deleted it.

He will only be able to last past 1/2 day if he hires nannies, cooks, housecleaners, and a person to blame things on to replace you.

This means that, when/ if you leave, Jackie goes into state care. That is the reality as I see it.
You and Jackie get new lives at the same time.

Mari

[Pamster]

I can't do it...He said he couldn't do it on his own and I believe that took a lot for him to say. He's sorry he has an anger problem, but jeeze I told him it has to stop and he said I have to make some concessions too. Like NOT yelling. I don't understand how we can but heads so bad Saturday and I was FINE all weekend with leaving up until today after the aid left and I talked with him. I don't know what to do. I can see going to mom's for a weekend, that may still happen, if SHE doesn't hate me for backing down yet again...I am so sick with myself. *sob*

[Mari]

Pam,
It's ok.
You do not need to be hard on yourself.
What if he leaves? Would that work out for the family goals?
Mari

[Pamster]

Nope, then he would end up making it happen that Jackie would get placed immediately because I can't watch him alone. I wish I could but he's too big now. It's both of us or neither of us I'm afraid. I wish I could not be so hard on myself Mari, but I know Mom is going to be disappointed in me for staying. And I don't know if I should allow him to help me buy a car over time or what....he was talking about me saving up to buy a car instead of a laptop and I could if he was working. I don't know, it will be really hard if he gets a job in the coming weeks. But we're having trouble making it as it is making it. That is part of my frustration.

I am in the chatroom if anyone wants to chat...

[Mari]

Hi, Pam,

What do you really really want right now?
Don't tell us. You can keep it to yourself.

But what three things do you want? And what do you have to do to get them (or to get closer to them)?

Mari

[Dmom3005]

Pam

First you need to realize your mom wants whats best for you.
Just like in the end you want what is best for Jackie.

Next why don't you talk to the group that sends the aids,
see if Jack were to take say a weekend or a night away a month,
if they could have someone stay overnight with you?

Next then why don't you talk to your mom, about spending one
weekend a month with her. And then if it works have Jack
spend one weekend someplace a month. And do let him get
a job.

This also will help you. Let the agency then help you set it up
so you have more support when he isn't there to help you.
Maybe also have your mom there a weeknight a week.

Also remember you usually go out with your mom every Saturday.

Donna