[Mari]

Donna,
You have great suggestions.
I can see how you are helpful to people in your work that you do.
M.

[Dmom3005]

Thanks Mari

That means a lot to me. I really have grown a lot in the last 7 years. Its getting easier for me to realize that I am helpful. I really wasn't sure I was the one for my job.

Donna

[Pamster]

Thank you all for your support, we've made it through the extended vacation and tomorrow Jackie returns to school. I wish I could just make it work somehow, but I think I am going to stay I don't think I could handle living at Mom's for over a year. I would if I had to, but I don't think I should impose on her like this. Especially since Jack and I have been talking and working things out. He's apologized and I believe in his sincerity.

If it comes down to it I called today about getting more services IF Jack moved out instead of placing Jackie into a home, and was told it would be possible and would most likely would be approved in a business week. I think I will go that route rather then move out. I think I will just stay here with Jackie and have aids out all the time IF Jack and I can't manage to stop arguing all the time.

[Dmom3005]

BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO

See you made one call and solved this dilemna. To me in a very satisfactory
way.

I believe that it would be to Jackie's best interest if the time came for
someone to move out. For it to be Jack instead of you.

I personally read in between the lines that you are the primary caregiver
and that he is very much knowing of it. I think that if Jack were to leave
that Jackie might also calm down too.

One of the reason's is that I believe he might pick up on the fact that
things are really rough now with you guys.

DOnna

[Mari]

Pam,
It sounds like you have a plan.
I'm glad that you found out about the other services from the state -- it's good to know about the resources available to you.
M.

[Pamster]

Thanks Donna, I think you're right on all counts. I think it would be a shame for me to move out and leave my son, but now that I can get more help should the need arrise I feel much better.

So far Jack and I made up and we're going to see about counselling. It's just got to work, I really need for it to work so we can treat each other the way we really want to instead of just reacting to one another. I see my therapist Thursday and will be talking to her about it. He also is going to be putting in applications in some places and hopefully getting a job.

We'll work on getting the house with his dad's help and hopefully by summer be in it. He talked about putting up some door guards, to stop damage from happening to the doors. Now I think I can be careful, but when Jackie gets a hold of my chair he's careless as can be and knocks into things. So we're still going to have to work on the attitude about me and bumping into things like walls or doors. THAT was what upset me and set off all this stress to begin with. So if he can relax on that we'll be much happier.

Thank you all so much for your support, I feel much better. Just knowing I can avert all that work of moving, and heartache of leaving Jackie. Now I need to see what we'll be able to have as a backup plan in case after we're in the new house that things don't work out. BUt that's a long way down the line. A lot could still go wrong, or right, so I am just trying to get through day by day.

[Dmom3005]

Pam

Keep putting your thoughts down here.


But you know you have a talent for writing. So also start writing out
how you could work through each of the problem's that you have
with Jackie and your chair.

1. Say the chair and a door. And then work through a couple of
plans with the team that comes in.

Also don't give up on yourself so much. You are really a great person.

And you need to give your self more credit.

When you start thinking of a home for yourself. Make sure the doors,
walkways and things are lots wider. So that the wheelchair can go
through.

Maybe do somethinking as to whether maybe this is part of the problem
now. Not exactly all Jackie.

donna

[Pamster]

I think it's definitely part of the problem, the fact that I have trouble and actually cannot get INTO one of our bathrooms here really frustrates me. And I know it's frustrating to Jack that I can't get in there. Thanks for the encouragement Donna, it's really awesome to have friends like you and Mari and Beth and the others here to lean on. I really appreciate the thoughts you share and the kind words you all offer me. Thank you.

[Dmom3005]

Pam

When you go for that house. Make sure you work on having the
bathroom made accessible. And all the other area's too. There
are agencies too do this. Ask the agency that is helping with
Jackie if they know how find this information. I'm guessing they
do.

I would also guess they can help you find some other agencies
that can help you.

Donna

[Yellowfever]

I have been busy with family so sorry about the late check in.


I seem to be doing ok