I know in our case we usually give our older boys cash. But thats because
they need it to help with their expenses.

And then I tell my relatives and people that want to know what to give.

Either to get burger king gift certificates or gas cards.

Donna

Well, I called my sister by accident this evening thinking I dialed a friend's number. I came right out and asked her if she had spend the money I sent to her and she said no she was holding onto it for an emergency. So in essence she used her money for Christmas for her family and is holding onto the money I gave to her for an emergency now because she must be low in the cash she considered separate from the money I sent to her. When I asked her to repeat herself she changed her story to something completely different. The 2nd story she gave me was she hasn't had time to go shopping without her family. She went on to explain if she took her family they'd expect her to spend the money I sent to her for her on them instead.

You know what really hurts me is that my sister is bending over backwards to lie to me. I can not trust some one who will lie to me like that and it hurts me she is doing this to me. I'm going to confront her when I can decide what to say without so much emotion. I just can not go on with a relationship with her like I've always done since her and I hooked up about 12 years ago by phone. I told her it was okay for her to tell me if she spent the money. She had to justify herself though by lying to me. I think I'm going to tell her exaxtly how I feel about it. I'm going to tell her that I am hurt by what she said. I'm not going to make her accountable or ask for the money back. I'm just going to tell her that she's lost my trust in her though. I will take my time though to think out how to word it to her.

barbara

Hi,
Is she really holding on to the cheque?
You could call your bank and for a fee, cancel the check.
That would be mean. But if it bugs you so much, you could do that.

I suggest letting it go.
Stay away from her (stay off the phone) and after a while if you decide you miss her more than you are angry with her, then you can call her.


By letting it go for now you leave yourself some options in the future. You can go back to being "kind of" friends again or you can fight with her. You can give yourself that choice in the future.

If you fight with her now, you might be shutting down your options for later when you have given yourself time -- there is no rush to handle this now.

M

Dear Barbara,
I think it is best to give it some time...
actions speak louder than words perhaps you could write her a letter and tell her how you feel and that way get out your feelings and be very thoguhtful about how you word things, you won't be able to read them so she will read the tone of your voice in her mind as she reads it which could be very angry or in a soft loving way...you can't control how she reads it unless you very obviously preface the letter with her interests involved.
does this make sense?
you can't control how she perceives/reads it.
that is why you should be very careful how you write it.
just my opinion of course.
beth

When or if you write or talk to her again, mention that the amount was sent specifically for her to buy the program.

If she isn't going to use it for that, maybe ask her to return half of the amount???

Might be a bit of you both got caught up and excited in talking about Photoshop. But maybe she isn't really into it after all...

I've thought of doing just that Jo. Telling my sister that the amount I sent to her was for the software and if she was't going to get the software to send me back all but $20 of the money. I've just about forgotten about it for now. From what I gather from her indirectly, she spent the money on a $70 MP3 player which she probably wanted from the very start. I asked her when she got the new MP3 player did she get it at Christmas. She said she got it before Chrstmas and since I sent her the mony the beginning of November it makes sense she used the money for the MP3 player. I've fogiven her but I hope I won't forget because I don't want a repeat of it sometime in the future.

barbara

Well low and behold, my sister told me a few days ago that she got the Photo Shop that I had sent her the money for. She thanked me for the gift. I am glad that is over with. As soon as I left it alone it seemed is when she got the Photo Shop. I kind of feel ashamed now for thinking ill of the situation beforehand.

barbara