[Mari]

Hi,

PBS has been running some programs having to do with
This Emotional Life:

http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/

also here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jessic..._b_465968.html

Connection is created, navigated, broken, and repaired almost daily from the moment we are born. At the heart of being alive lies the vitality of being connected to others -- feeling that what we do matters.

What's more is that we rely on being deeply understood by those around us in order to thrive. But how do we learn about healthy connection? What does it look like to build strong ties with others? Where do we learn about relating with people and the world more broadly?

If connecting is so central to happiness, why does it seem so challenging to create deep bonds that last?

I'm depressed so maybe I should not be writing about this tonight -- wondering how someone creates deep bonds with other people?

M.

[bizi]

I think you are connected to your students....that you care about them and they care about you.
I think that you care about your co workers and they care about you....
I think that you care about your husband and that he cares about you.
these are all different relationships but they each have meaning and are neccesary.
We care about you and I know you care aobut us though we have never met.
You are very real in my life.
I am grateful for you.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[waves]

Originally Posted by bizi

I think you are connected to your students....that you care about them and they care about you.
I think that you care about your co workers and they care about you....
I think that you care about your husband and that he cares about you.
these are all different relationships but they each have meaning and are neccesary.
We care about you and I know you care aobut us though we have never met.
You are very real in my life.
I am grateful for you.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

couldn't have said it better. (((hugs)))

~ waves ~

[befuddled2]

Mari,

It was very hard for me to connect with people healthy for a long time and I still have trouble but have improved. When I had been isolated from others by my ex husband I yearned to connect with others after my split from him. I would literally bend over backwards to please people. I also would sacrifice the boundaries that I should have had in place for the chance of having a friend. In that process the people I would bend over backwards to make friends with took advantage of me and over stepped the boundaries that I didn't know how to set. I have over the years since my split with my ex made some nice freinds. I have only a few who are really true friends out of dozens or more that I know and speak with who are more like acquaintances. Trial and Error is how I have learned to make the people connection and a willingness on the other's part to hang in there with me. That's what defines my true friends to this day, the ones who have hung in there with me through my trials and errors. One of the things that true freinds will do is they will always come back to you or take you back when you come to them after a big fight.

What I learned to do is not come on too strong when trying to cultivate a new freind like I use to do. Three years ago I was too earger to make friends and the people bounced on that to step all over me. It is hard work to cultivate a true friend for sure. The majority of people are not true friend material and there is a lot of weeding through to do.

This would be a good topic to discuss with a therapist and I may very well bring it up to mine as I am still finding out how to.