Perhaps the author had that in mind when writing step 7. In these cases, however, the bothersome people, while referred to in step 7 as "toxic" may only be toxic-so-to-speak... to us, whereas there are individuals who are abusive or generally difficult to deal with for just about everyone in the work place. Difficulty experienced by most or everyone pretty much differentiates a "personal conflict" from dealing with a generally toxic individual.

However, between the rest of the article (including "toxic" characteristics discussed), the use of the term "toxic" in step 7, and the suggestions on altering even one's appearance... i interpreted the section ... as per my first post.

------------
However, concept-wise, I would take Mari's last bit one step further:
"So sometimes it helps to be reflective and notice if people are recreating patterns that they established in childhood. It's pretty self-defeating to keep making new people into difficult people."
I think we all project childhood roles on others and not just in the workplace, so I would say this is worthy of reflection in all our relationships.

~ waves ~

Thank you Waves and Mari.

I just try to realize how these toxic energies can enter my home and I try to keep them out Mari. If I need to talk to a friend who is upset or distressed I try to talk to her in a Starbucks or a park. Even if someone calls me and it's a stressful call, I'll walk outside to keep the bad energy outside.

I think I might have a little OCD when it comes to keeping my home clean and organized. I go on these binges where I go through everything and start throwing stuff out. I vacuum my carpet everyday, dust and clean the bathrooms all before I go to work. I must confess, and it was said on Oprah once, that people who like to see the lines the vacuum cleaner make are obsessive-compulsive. I do love to see those lines.

Dear Thumper,
Lines sound good to me. So what if you are on one end of the cleaning spectrum and like to see the lines. (Ignore the experts on Orpah for this one.)
It is wonderful that you protect your home so fiercely.

That makes sense to me -- that you want your home to be clear and peaceful.

M.

That's what a life coach said to me once and it's stuck in my head.

Have a good day and work and try to not let things get to you.

I'm off to make some lines

Thumper i hope your fitness program helps - and fwiw, i like vacuum lines too.
Mari, hope you can keep avoiding your boss effectively and work isn't being too rotten overall.
Befuddled... good luck and be careful with your neighbors.

where applicable i thank who has acknowledged me or my comments and for engaging conversation and ...

where applicable thank who has scarcely bothered to acknowledge my comments or engage in what i had to say.

dunno why i even bothered. no, actually i do know why i bothered - because i thought it was a good topic, because i cared and because i actually thought my contributions were astute and worthwhile. i also hoped for a more engaging conversation, that's part of why i bothered too. well perhaps my hopes were too high, i cared too much, or expected too much and that is bad news for me so i'm outta here.

i'm not deleting my posts since who knows other readers or lurkers could still, even unbeknonwst to me, find them illuminating.

party on without me.

Are monkeys and rabbits related?

I don't like bad memories being made in my home either. I LOVE my Dyson.

My home is my comfort zone. I want others to feel comfortable too. To feel at home and don't have to ask to reach in the cookie jar.