I went walking today and my neighbor Bill was on his porch so I stopped to talk to him. He kept telling me over and over that my next door neighbor, Deborah, and I need to work things out. He said the cops don't need to be called over everything. I told him I'm not the one calling the cops. He kept repeating himself though and saying her and I need to work things out cause he doesn't like for the cops to be coming through here all the time. I told him I don't have to be someone's friend like Deborah who lies on me in court and sets it up to look like I ran into her car. He said, "oh well." Then he repeats the same stuff over and over so I ended up throwing up my hands in the air and walking off. He said he was sorry as I was walking away but I don't believe him.

I could not help myself and called my neighbor Bill tonight and this is what I said.

"I thought you were a better person than you are. I am not going to be treated in the way you treated me today. I know the truth and that is all that matters to me. Goodbye."

I hung up before he had time to respond. I'm good at that. I feel sad now though like crying sad. I hate men at this moment. When I 1st called him it sounded like he hung up on me but he called back right away and when he said Barbara into the phone he sounded pleading kind of. I wrote down what I wanted to say so that's how I can say what I said to him word for word. I read it off to him. I don't know if it's the alcohol making me so sad or not but I feel like I just told someone I really like to kiss off and that's the end which I meant it to be.

I don't know why I have to fall for the jerks of this world. Little Bill is so nice and attentive to me but I don't want him. I don't really want my neighbor Bill either but at times I think I do.

I think tomorrow should be a better day. I at least hope so.

barbara