Thank you for posting again. It is good to know you a little better...

Boy, you DO have a lot on your plate, what with RSD and Fibro in the picture too!!!

Anyway, I'm glad you are feeling a little better today!

Remember that suicidal thoughts are just that - thoughts. They are escapist thoughts when we are in too much pain or feel cornered. Do not feel bad about having those thoughts, but when you do, you should talk to someone about them... hopefully discuss this in therapy.

Anyway thought need not lead to action. Thoughts come and they GO. In general. And as far as undesirable ones, you can practice making them go.

For a while when i would get ugly thoughts i would find a garbage bin within eyeshot, and try to visualize the thought going into the trash! LOL. I know it sounds crazy but hey... it's less crazy than letting ugly thoughts persist!

It might help to make a list of good things to think about - and even keep it on you all the time if this is a frequent problem. And when it happens after you dump the icky thought, look up one of the good topics and think about it for a bit. The other thoughts do come back and you will have to practice. But with practice you will get better and better at it. I have.

Hope tomorrow is a good day for you too. I'm really glad your best friend is visiting. There's nothing like a real live person who cares to support you.

But in any case, we are here for you any time.

((( HUGS - the old fashioned kind )))

~ waves ~

QUOTE=Coach;538074]Since November I have been on and off so many meds my head is spinning.
Now on Zyprexa and BuSpar and feeling a little better. Still not where I want to be. Doing the fish oil, vitamin D, sleepmask and melatonin but I can't say any of it has helped.
Shrink says I should limit the computer use as well. Suppose to emit blue light which isn't good.
I've really tried to be faithful with my sleep routine as well.
Still I feel like crap most of the time.
Is anyone actually comfortable?

Dear Pam, I understand that some people may be comfortable, but I've not been one of them for quite a while, so I hear you loud and clear. If you can tolerate the older tricyclic antidepressants, some, Elavil I think, and maybe all of them, help with pain management. They should be cheaper as well. Tofranil PM [Extended Release] minimized side effects, which primarily concern sedation and would help you to sleep. You might call your pharmacist for a price on this medication, but he probably won't have it in stock, as the SSRI's are the antidepressants primarily in use now. I liked the effects of the tricyclics but developed an allergy to the one I was taking, and I will concede that it may be just age and longevity of illness that has developed into chronicity and may have nothing to do with medication. I do not mean to tout or advertise any certain medication, and I have learned from an experienced psychiatrist, that long-term tricyclic use can cause hallucinations. Further, each person's experience is different. If cost is a factor, however, be sure that any medication you use has a generic and that the doctor prescribes this. You are doing great if you can adhere to a sleep regimen of any kind. Give it time. ~hugs and luck~ billie hmmmm, I tried to submit this and got a message that it was too short!

Pam[/QUOTE]

it's been a while since we heard from you last...

how are you holding up?

how are things at home?



~ waves ~

Hi

I went back on Ultram and I feel better. Sometimes I get it in my head that it's noble to do the pain without medication. I'm 22 years sober in AA. They really discourage pain meds. Of course they don't have to do my pain!

Thanks, Pam

Dear Pam,
I'm glad to know that you are feeling better.
M.

Thanks for checking in, and i too am glad to hear you are doing better.

and that's right, it's easy for AA to take the high road and "discourage" pain pills... but every individual's situation is different, and each person's strengths differ too.

I am glad you are able to manage the Ultram responsibly to help with your pain. Using does not have to mean abusing.

I wish you continued wellness and congratulations on your 22 years sobriety!
That is super!

Take care and keep us posted.

~ waves ~