I went to pick up my check today to pay for the movers. A fund for battered women helps pay for certain things like that for abused women to help them get away from the abuser. The lady called me up at 2 and woke me up to come get the check. I am very thankful for it. It would be nice if they could also help pay for education. I doubt it though since the goverment has grants for that. I do think though that this fund will help pay the rent if need be.

i sure don't feel up to doing anything to get ready for the move tomorrow. I feel kind of depressed and just want to crawl in the bed and forget it all. I am tired of being independent already but I know eventually I'll get use to it. It felt good to be independent while still in the house. Apartments have much less privacy.

My brother came by this morning and said he couldn't see anything wrong with my computer. My computer doesn't seem to be hanging up lately now anyway. It could be because I was doing things when the webpage was still loading. this new IE 7 stinks to me.

I have a mixed emotion of numbness and depression if that is possible. or maybe it's just because the child in me doesn't want to make this move final. The dreaded big change. I don't know how in the world I was able to quit smoking about 2 years ago because change seems so scary to me. I guess I just foget really how awful in the beginning quitting was. I feel like a little girl who needs her mommy.

befuddled2