I feel for you having been trapped once chemically on the other side, where side effects stole my personality and cost me my family, and now a brain lesion has robbed me of my small amount of freedom in the ability to drive and has taken away my only hobby.
BUT… our outward inabilities to express ourselves as the loving people we once were does not diminish the love we feel in our hearts. We have had a huge part of 'I' taken away and can feel trapped, lost and alone. Do not take this as a sign that Love has died.
Draw on the strength of those around you. Come here for support. Know that your husband really hasn't changed inside.
Dave.

I appreciate so very much all of the help I can get. It is very hard to have once been treated so lovingly to what is our "now". He has no patience at all and therefore it makes me feel like hiding beneath a chair. Seems like everything I say gets him angry. He's titrated up to the 750 mg dose of Depakote this week, supposed to be a mood stabilizer, this upcoming week will be week 4. I understand that it will take a bit to regulate. Also on Celexa 40 mg day. But this has been a med for last several years. I just feel lonely and lost. I try to be two steps ahead of his every need, as to put meds in a cup, etc. he got up earlier than me yest and Accidently took 2 Dep in am instead of one. Needless to say he felt new nauseated and slept most of day.

Thanks again for your reply, it means the world.

I hope my friends on the CP Forum are reading your posts, many of us have been left with no support and you are struggling to give your all.
Please tell me you have some time in your day when you can escape for just a short time for your own mental health. No-one will benefit if you become ill, or find you can't cope. Do you have friends or family you can draw strength from?
I truly hope your husband's new meds bring some stability to his condition, and to you.
Dave.