Chronic Pain and Guilt

eva5667faliure · 06-19-2014, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by St George 2013

Hey there sweet girl

I'm right there with you on the guilt trip....and it is so emotionally and physically draining. When I was laid off after 26 years in Sept 2012 I had so many plans. Plans for the house, plans for the yard, plans to do things with my 6 grandchildren and finally, plans to go back to work. But that all came to a crashing halt. Hysterectomy, rare uterine cancer, 6 rounds of chemo and then the small fiber neuropathy monster. The guilt when going through chemo wasn't too bad. On good days I could actually do things and not suffer for it later. But that doesn't work with SFN. On the few good days I have I try to do things that need to get done in the house. I CANNOT believe my house looks like this ! And yes...I have people I can ask to help but just feel too guilty to do it. My kids and grandkids are good about popping in and out and taking out the trash or cleaning up the kitchen if needed and I so appreciate that. But that is not the cleaning I need done.

For years, I'm 51, I cooked a huge dinner every Sunday and had anywhere from 10 to 15 people at my house. I'm unable to do that anymore and it just tears me up inside. It was one of my great joys to see everyone eating and having a good time. Kids running in and out.

My mom, 83, had an addition build on to our house. It's a small apartment and I am thankful she is here. She says she does not know what she would do without me but I feel the same way about her. Sometimes she takes more care of me than I do her

She comes everyday during the week and washes our clothes, makes up our bed and washes whatever dishes are in the sink.

My husband works a full schedule despite back problems and large fiber neuropathy. He's very little help around the house.

And grocery shopping......I just can't do it. I've tried and used the scooters but the next few days are h ell for me. I'm home 99% of the time. I only go out to dr's appointments. Every once in a blue moon I'll feel well enough to drive. Another few days in the bed or recliner. My daughter has been great about getting my groceries.

All I want to do is be able to grocery shop once a week, clean my house and cook dinner. Those are my goals right now but seem so far away. Which is depressing.

I'm just randomly typing...not even sure if it makes any sense but at least I feel better

Take care everyone and thanks so much for being here on this site.

Debi from Georgia

you are walking in my shoes
thank you
everything you speak of is how my life is
you make perfect sense to this woman
whose passion in life
a table full on Sundays
everyone enjoying some good cooking
i think this is what pains me most
not to use a knife like i could
i so live like you
for to do what we both love
just sucks the life left in me
i am unable to do it anymore
my daughter comes and cooks once a week
loves doing it
love having her
you are Not alone
love
me

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