[john jeffery aka JJ]

I am a logically thinking person, in my mind things have to make sense or I don’t except them. I am aware of my present situation, I’m aware of what my limitations are , I know what’s a head of me;. All this, “I�� have come to terms with, is this so impossible to believe. Why do people keep asking me how I live with pain all the time, I can’t stand when people feel sorry for me, I especially hate when they offer to help me or do things for me , I go out of my way not to show that I’m disabled, I don’t walk with a Cain and I refuse to get a handicap sign for my car, and I only cry in silence
Tell me; do I sound like I’m depressed?

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A little background on me;
Im a 48yrs old male, I have moderate to severe chronic pain everyday of my life for the past10 years,
I was diagnosed with sever stinosis in the neck, severe D.D.D
At 37 I had to have a lamanectomy from C3 to C7 inclusive, do to herniated disc that affected my spinal cord. The doctors have made it very clear that there is real nothing left to try, medically to get rid of the pain.
Presently I can not feel with my hands, no sensation, I have pain from my head to my toes. I have been on every type of pain medication and all stopped working after a while
Now I take Lyrica and and medical marijuana

[froglady]

John you do not sound depressed to me. Actually you seem to be trying to live your life with it's pain and limations with dignityand being a man, are trying to keep your ego up. Nothing wrong with that. Only please learn to let someone in to help you a little, from time to time. Usually folks want to help or console out of love and caring and really don't know what else to do.
If you do have to use some equipment for getting around you'll still be every bit a MAN...only a man that needs: just a little help.
In my situation I sometimes use a cane and a rollater, along with having to use my mobility scooter too. Being 65 and a woman makes it easier. After all being a bit fluffy(better than the fat word), everyone expects something like that out of "old ladies."
My hubby can't hear but refuses to use a hearing aide. Male ego thing. UGH, I AM his ears! LOL
I wish the best for you. Gaye

[finz]

Hi JJ.............I'm wondering why you are asking the question

Are friends or family being condescending because "you must be depressed" ?

Is someone implying that your complaints of pain are "just because you are depressed" ?

Is a doctor trying to put you on an antidepressent to help with the pain ? Many of these med can help with nerve pain, the doctor is not necessarily trying to imply that you are depressed.

Some people can manage chronic pain without becoming depressed. I'm not one of them Depression is a chemical imbalance. It doesn't mean that I'm weak. It's not something to be ashamed of. With medication, my symptoms are under control. When I am in a lot of pain and can't do the things that I want to do, I can still get frustrated and weepy. That's called situational depression............like when someone you love passes away...........that's not showing a need for medication/change in dose......that's showing a normal human reaction to an unusually stressful event.

[Vowel Lady]

I think it is possible that you have mild or situational depression.
You say that you are aware of your limitations, yet you do not want help from others. I think it is admirable and even preferable that you would limit help from others, but it also may not be totally appropriate or healthy to refuse help when needed. This could help to relieve undue physical pain or the stress related to that pain at least for brief periods of time. In addition, I think it is possible that those who love and care for you (us) really WANT to help us and if you were to allow them to hep (without taking advantage of the situation and that certainly would not be the case here), then it would give them some relief to know that they were of assistence. You did not ask for this pain and therefore it is okay to receive help when the burden is great. You never know, but there is a chance that if you receive help now and again, this would lighten your load and in your own way, and could allow you windows of opportunity to help others in some unexpected way.

[NaeNae]

I get it.....hop on into my boat for a cruise down denial! I have been recently suffering depression along with anxiety, due to an unexpected divorce. And although I am an educated, down to earth person and realize when I am behaving in these ways it irritates me that I could possibly be having these feelings. Its funny the MS and chronic pain never caused me to get depressed...well almost never I have had a few pity parties....but this has thrown me for a tailspin....Good luck in finding whatever helps you through it, and hopefully I will find my own way as well!

[razzle51]

I think there is a little depression in all of us that deal with chronic pain . I am like you I refuse to give up . Life goes on, God dealth us this hand so we must play it.

Have you ever been checked for Chiari Malformation? Sounds like you might have that.

and atleast you got friends to do things for you . Some people that have chronic pain loose all there friends.

Now also dont know if you know but Lyrica can cause depression . You dont need that. anyway from one painer to another , pip pip cheerio and all that rot .( Not from Uk ) Take care . I will add the symptoms to chiari in a minute .

[razzle51]

http://www.chiarione.org/symptoms.html

[sugarboo]

Chronic Pain can be depressing...what people don't understand is that we get to a new normal. Within that new normal we come to accept what is. I remember the days when I could run and bend and jump. I remember the days I could sleep all night without suffering. As time passes, my new normal is what it is. I'm never going to get younger, never going to be without pain. Should this depress me? I have my moments. I cry sometimes. But like everyone else, I get up, do what I have to do and learn to live with it. It seems those around me bring things up more than I do. Like you, I suffer in silence. I don't want pity, I don't want to talk about it....just give me my vicodin so I can function....and keep laughter close to your soul.

You don't sound depressed....you sound like you are living with your pain and trying to forge ahead.

Best to you
J

[dllfo]

Hi JJ,
I am 63 now. I had my back messed up 21 years ago. I am just detoxing off morphine because of life threatening respiratory issues.

They tell me I am depressed. I tell them I am frustrated. I have everything in the world going for me and the medical issues frustrate me. With good health, my wife and I could travel to see friends, etc.

By they, I mean the doctors. Even my wife once in awhile. I think I understand how you feel. I am "concrete sequential" in my thinking (per my wife and her degree in psychology) and I like for 2 + 2 to equal 4. I am logical. You sound like your brain is working fine. You have some medical problems and whatever you do, don't let them put you on the "anxiety" drugs unless you really know what is going on. I was put on one after another after another after another for about 15 months. I took everything but Prozac.... none helped. I stared at the ceiling. They said I was "high strung". I am. I am a type "A" to the max. They can do you more harm than good if you are not careful. In fairness to the doctors,
they gave me these drugs in 2003-2004. NOW they seem to understand the drugs and their side effects better. Please be careful. Just because they are doctors ... they do not know you as well as you do. Hope that made sense.

God Bless You JJ, you have some rough days ahead, but it sounds like you can handle them.