I agree with Curious that "helping others can be healing itself".

Reading about what someone I know is going through can also help me sometimes to 'open up' more too. I find with depression that it can be much easier to withdraw and not talk about it instead of reaching out for understanding and support.

Idealist, I'm sorry I've been a bit scarce lately ... but I hope you know you can reach out to me ... :hug:

(((Idealist))) I see Alffe caught you wondering and wandering about. :D

I couldn't say much more than what's already been said. I like what Alffe said about repeating our stories over and over again. Maybe I should go ahead and put all my ailments in my signature. Although, I don't always post about the way I'm feeling every day because my problems are so insignificant compared to so many other people's problems here. I feel guilty bringing up chronic pain problems (although I must say I'm being pushed to the edge with that).

And sometimes I feel like the web is too public of a place to put things right out there. Although, this forum is the safest place I've felt in awhile.

I liked what Alffe said, too. But then again, I usually do. The part about "spare me the labor and show me the baby" was good. :p

Doody, what you said reminds me of someone else here on the forums. I won't give any names, but she likes to swing around in trees and likes bananas. ;)

She always says that when she starts to feel bad, she remembers all of the other people here who have it so much worse than she does. I try to do that too, and often it really works. But like one of my doctors told me, the fact that other people may be more miserable than you are doesn't make your own pain any less. So maybe sometimes I'm too selfish, but there are times when I can't seem to get out of my own head, so to speak.

I have found that anytime I can help someone else, it always makes me feel better. Sometimes I feel desperate to find someone who needs my help, just so I can give it. But I wouldn't feel right in just saying meaningless things to people for the sake of my own feelings. Does that make sense at all? :confused:

Anyway, what brought this all on for me, I'm embarrassed to say, is the fact that I'm getting close to a thousand posts here. I know a lot has been said about that from time to time. I have actually been posting a lot less the past few weeks because I feel anxious about becoming a "senior member". Is that silly, or what? Still, it's got me bothered.

There's a few people here who know that I'm going through a lot of problems right now, only some of which are medical. But only a few. I'm way too embarrassed to talk about it "in public." But I shouldn't be, and I know it. So that's the crux of my problem. What everyone here has said has been very helpful though, and gives me plenty to think about. So again I thank you all!

Idealist

:p being a senior member ain't so bad. has some perks.

we get discount snacks before 5pm. :D

sooooooo......which posts do you want me to subtract from your numbers? all the wonderful welcoming posts? the friendship and supportive posts from the night owls? your posts where you gave advice because you have been where that person has been or gone through? your posts where you asked questions? see? all those posts just add up. and that is a good thing. now if you did 1000 posts in 1 week...i'd tell you to toss your computer out the window. :wink:

you are a wonderful member here. :hug: and i do truely understand your concerns. but you are a real life person with real life issues too. just like me.

i'm losing my home. there is finaly a glimmer of hope of that me and the monkeys will have a place to live and not in a shelter. but time is running out. if that is where i end up...there are members here that i will call. they will let you know.

no matter what, we are here for you. and if you stall out at 999 posts...i'll talk to doc to add the extra post. :p

Dear Idealist

I have been following this thread and waiting to post because your questions evoked challenging deep thought for me (as always!:) ) and the answers you have received have been so close to my own feelings

Reading through the discussion has reminded me again of what a really special group of people we have here....people who are REAL and often dealing with excruciating pain and very stressful circumstances....yet they always have time to stop and give advice or compassion or share a hug, a smile, a cheer, a tear or a prayer.......whatever is needed.....AND to ask for it, when they need it!!

I know that encourages me to share when I need support, rather than to feel I have to be only on the giving end. And I am just so thankful for the way I have been sustained by my cyberfriends being here for me when I have needed them. In a way, this caring by people who have in many cases never met each other in person, is even more special to me.....

Soooooooo, Soon To Be Senior Member:D let me encourage you to never feel that your need to receive support should ever be muted when it arises.
Just as our monkey pal said....we so often also gain help in offering it to others....and so you never really know who is going to benefit from reading something you have written...whether it is to receive support or to give it.

:hug: