[Thelma]

I have not been feeling as well as usual for a few days so have just read a lot here and elsewhere. I have some questions I would like to ask you all.

One of the sites I go to is totally dedicated to the scourge of Als and is most valuable to many who have this disease. Yet someone has been putting onto the site some really rude and downright filthy messages that are meant only to cause troubel nad lower the the the respect of the site.

What makes one do this? Why do it to those who are suffering as some there are?


Another thing I have noticed is this, when a new person comes into this site they are seeking someone to talk to. Why do so many answer them? Doesn't that just scare them away from coming back. It is hard enough to talk to one stranger let alone many who are strangers.

Why don't we let them get a foot in before we bombard them with our own thoughts and feelings and just wait till they ask for them? Maybe lets chose someone to answer all new messages in thier forum first?

I have read on another site of so many moderators here talkilng to each other on many posts and while they don't say they are the moderators you soon learn that they are if only by the many many posts they are on.

Now for the question. How are the new members going to react when they find they are talkilng to moderators and not just another poster?

Couldn't a name be placed under the mods names to show who they are? Now don't bother to tell me that they can be both members and moserators and keep each seperate. Go around the site and it will soon be evident they can not do it.

Oh well enough for now as I think I am getting into my bitchy mood.

But really it does matter and we need to alter some things. Bye

[Julie]

We got mod titles this week. We mods are posters too so we aren't that scary to talk to.

[Thelma]

Member Community Support Team................What does that mean exactly?

Not everyone comes to a neurological site for support or is this basocally a mental health site?

[Ellie]

It's two titles

Member

-and-

Community Support Team

To me it basically means we're here to help if/when needed, but are members first. We didn't want to be called Moderators, so we tried to come up with something else. I think it also is a sign we all talk a lot.

Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. I've had one of those 'months' myself, if it's not one thing it's another.

[Alffe]

Thelma, I'm sorry you aren't feeling as well as usual. I think I get what you're saying but on the SOS forum, some of our posters are teetering and frankly it's difficult to find the right words of support. I welcome and urge the members to jump in.

[Lara]

Originally Posted by Thelma

One of the sites I go to is totally dedicated to the scourge of Als and is most valuable to many who have this disease. Yet someone has been putting onto the site some really rude and downright filthy messages that are meant only to cause troubel nad lower the the the respect of the site.
What makes one do this? Why do it to those who are suffering as some there are?

Thelma, I don't know why people do that. Unfortunately people do that in "real life" as well. It's just the way some people are I think.

Another thing I have noticed is this, when a new person comes into this site they are seeking someone to talk to. Why do so many answer them? Doesn't that just scare them away from coming back. It is hard enough to talk to one stranger let alone many who are strangers.

I'm not sure if you mean in a specific forum or what. I always try to say something if I _can_ help in some way. In General Neurology, e.g., there are often new posters who are really looking for direction as to which forum to use, or they have questions they ask in case someone knows something about what is going on for them or their loved one etc..

Are you talking about somewhere in particular, Thelma? I don't understand why people shouldn't talk to new members.

Now for the question. How are the new members going to react when they find they are talkilng to moderators and not just another poster?

Why should anyone react any differently to someone who's a moderator than someone who is "just" another poster? I'm not really sure what you mean about all the rest of the moderator/user issue that you wrote, so I'll leave that for those to whom it was addressed.

I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling so unwell, Thelma. Hoping you have some brighter days soon.

Just to quickly talk about what Alffe's said on her post. It is an excellent point and one that I think about every day of my life. I honestly do. Sometimes, for various reasons, I just do not have the words, as she put it, to answer. It's fine for me to think about people, but I really beat myself up a LOT because I can rarely find the words anymore to help with emotional support as I used to. Frankly, I burned out and went into self-preseveration mode. No-one else is to know that, 'cause I don't tell them! At times when I feel that way, the best thing for me to do when online in my forums, is to offer a different type of support and that is when I can offer direction regarding more practical aspects of forum life. One where I can share my gained lifeskills and knowledge and which actually has a pretty broad base. I think that description would apply to everyone around here, wouldn't it?

[Idealist]

I remember being thrilled by the many responses I got the first time I posted on OBT. It made feel like I could fit right in and be a part of the group.

As far as the moderator/members go, I think it's been working out pretty well so far. There are a few who I think of as being my friends before being mods. I talk to them just like I'd talk to anyone else...

I really hope you're feeling better today, Thelma! Good thoughts and wishes are headed your way...

Idealist

[Curious]

imo most people lurk around a board and get a feel for it before ever posting. if they want an unfriendly info only type of board they post there. if they want a board where they post and maybe get one welcome...they post there.

it is pretty obvious at neurotalk, both the members and mod welcome people.

as to your statement:
I have read on another site of so many moderators here talkilng to each other on many posts and while they don't say they are the moderators you soon learn that they are if only by the many many posts they are on.

our moderator list is there for anyone to see. mods are also listed on each forum. and as julie stated, our status is under our name now. it is very unfortunate that another board takes the time to even mention something like this.

some boards don't show you when a member is a mod. might just be the mods welcoming people anyways.

[stevem53]

Thelma..Hope you feel better soon!

I like the idea of knowing who the Moderators are..and them posting amongst us..Compared to OBT the Mods here are of service to the general membership..At OBT is a guessing-walk on eggs game-feels like you are waiting to see the Wizard when you send a p.m..Makes one very homesick for Kansas..

[moose53]

((((((Thelma)))))),



Oh, I hate those people that only come to cause trouble. There was one awhile back that posted on one of the genetic disorder forums (trisomy) on OBT. I was furious. I sent him a email and told him he was horrible human being.

I just had a thought about what you said about "bombarding newcomers".

We can't really know if that's the way that they're feeling. But, my way of looking at it is sometimes someone will say something using "your words" -- speaking in the same way that you talk -- then you will get the message. Sometimes, one might have to read many different ways of stating the same thing in order to "get it". Do you think that's possible??

When I was dealing with the suicide of my Brother (and also my own attempts), I did a lot of reading about suicide. I actually wrote to an author once and asked him if he had ever attempted suicide. Because I thought that I recognized a "compatriot" in his words. He actually wrote me back a very long letter explaining why he would never do that. I still read that letter sometimes. I got more out of that man's one letter than out of hours and hours of therapy. Because, he used MY WORDS.

Do you understand what I'm saying, Thelma. Sometimes, the key is a different word.

I, personally, would never want newcomer questions answered by just one forum member. I would be afraid that the person with the questions would not be getting a wide enough view of the possibilities.

I, for one, think that as long as someone's intention is to help -- even if it's only to say "I understand" or "I wish I could hug you" -- then there's nothing wrong with that.

I wish I could hug you, Thelma. You have no idea how precious you are to all of us -- how much love and caring you've given that's been well received. You are a treasure.

BIG HUGS (and love).

Barb