david...so sorry for not having the strength or energy to be who you depended on..with you gone (due to me depending on others to help me) i am so afraid to let myself be the person i was towards others..so panicked that i will not be able to protect and care for them..and something awful will occur due to be not being able to give all i am...i am closing myself off,slowly. so when i come to join you it won't hurt too many others.. i know this is not what you wanted for me after you had to leave but things didn't end the way they should have..you had so much more life to live..and i regret the 20 min. i left you with the hospital aide...i doubt every decision i make... and need to break off all the attachments others have on me...so as to not cause anymore disappointment or death to anybody else i love...see you soon---sorry to disappoint you again---i am so tired of being in my own skin these days---too many dark days & even darker nights---everyone wants my advise and my help with their problems and i can't handle the responsibility anymore-----too damaged----- and lost without you...forgive me david for being so weak..my love for you is never-ending..and i need you now(but your not here) and i need to be alone so i can't cause more damage..forever your linda..