Hi Fancy
I am sorry for your loss. I understand how hard this is for you...


BIG HUGS

It's been a sad day for me today. My furnace has quit working worse yet is the thought that my husband knew how to fix it. I have one I can call on but he isn't answering his phone. I never can get them when I really need them. It's been a rainy dark & gloomy day for me.

I don't feel good and everytime I get up I'm in pain. It's my side where I am to have surgery in 12 days. I really don't want to do it for this to will lay me up even longer. I am selling our country home and moving to town hopefully to better living conitions. I'll have electric heat there plus one gas heater in the living area. I can't move till near the end of the month tho for that is when the closing is.

Things aren't the same without my husband. Our son isn't around here and what family I got, I can't count on them much either. His brother don't care to help me with anything and he lives the closest. He was so close to my husband & when he found out he was dying he just pulled back. He has never
offered to help with nothing around here. They don't call me or nothing.

I too dread Christmas. I feel so all alone. We don't exchange with others, so it will be different.They have big families that come home. If I can I might have them come over here.I will have one big room I could serve food in maybe that is my roll in life now, to make others happy. If I can just get over these two surgeries by then, I don't mind to cook.

It seems I am finding it hard just where I fit into this family. It's my husbands and they are odd to say the least. I was used to a small family setting at Christmas & my husbands family was large and don't buy much, just get together. That is fine with me. I hope I am not moving to soon tho. I was reading a person shouldn't make a move for 6 months. It will be only 3 mos. for me. The memories I can take with me tho. here they are ever to present in this house. is there anyway I could help myself out of this gloom? If I felt better things would be different.
Hugs,
Fancy

Have you tried journaling? I did that when our son died and then forgot about it....came across it yesterday and was really suprised at some of the things I'd written.

When our 8 yr.old grandson died I wrote him a letter that first Christmas and told him how much we missed him. His mom put it in his stocking. It's hard to look at those empty dinning chairs.

If his family doesn't want to come, have a dinner party for church friends...people who would also be alone. Hugs.

Just wanting to send all of you ((((HUGS)))) Although sometimes words may fail, there is always room in my heart to lift you up in prayer.

Christmas is the hardest for me seeing we lost Danny the day after in 2001...
I still have his pictures hung on my wall and we visit the cemetary at least once a week...used to be once a day but we have back off a bit.

BIG HUGS to all

Christmas is a rough one because kids love it so much...Santa, the tree.
All those holidays, birthdays, anniversary of their deaths are so difficult.

It gets better with time..we never forget them but we are able to talk about them without sobbing, given enough time.

Hugs for everyone who needs one...and that's all of us!

Please feel free to start a new thread and tell us a bit about your loved one so we can get to know who he/she was and how you are doing.


Hugs

I want to take this time to thank everyone who has replied.

Alffe~ I have started to journal several times and just don't keep at it. I know the importance,but I have so much to do right now. I've just had the one surgery & getting ready for another. Then I have sold most of the farm and bought a place in town. And I need to have an acution soon , before selling the house. Then the moving process will begain and I don't have any business lifting nothing. I don't know how to manage it all the way it is. My churchfamily is here or I am there all the time. They are good to me.

Mama Sue~ Thanks for the prayers.I will always need them.I do have good days, but it don't take much to push me over the edge. I also have a nephew that is willing to go the second mile with me. Our son is in prison and I don't see him. When I had my will made out I had help threw a lawyer where my He is like a son also. No one else has been this kind so he will be rewarded when I can't manage or if I die..

Rocking 4 Epilepsy~ I'll be to tell the story about my husband, but I think it is on a different forum. May I can copy it, I'll check. I have a doctor appointment shortly and don't have time to type it all up now.
Blessings,
Fancylady