Hello everyone,
Just to let you know, my sweet sister, Cindy, died yesterday at 2:45 pm of brain cancer.
My husband, Mel, died 6 months ago of lung cancer. I am going to take this opportunity to finally scatter his ashes in the Pacific Ocean per his wishes after my sister's memorial in a couple of weeks up in Sacramento.
I can't bear any more death right now.

I'm so sorry for your loss cat.....please take good care of YOU right now.

I'm so sorry. You've had a lot to deal with and process in a short amount of time. Be gentle on yourself and give yourself some extra space and time to heal. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hi dear Cat ~ Bless your heart ~ I'm so sorry for your losses. I can't imagine what you're feeling right now. The pain must be just awful.

I had a similar year in 2001 when my granddaughter died, my husband died, and my mother-in-law died all within 6 months. I thought I'd lose my mind.

You haven't had time to grieve your dear husband, and now your sweet sister dies! This will put you in overload. You need to talk to a grief counselor. Why not call Hospice? They have wonderful grief counselors ~ I talked to one after my husband died, and I'm so glad I did. It helped me immensely - and perhaps it will help you too.

Please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. Please treat yourself with kindness, much like you'd treat a good friend. Pamper yourself and be patient with yourself ~ you're going to need all the support you can get. God bless you and take care. Hugs, Lee

Thinking of you today and hoping you're doing okay.

Hi, Kitty
No, I'm not really doing very well. My sister's funeral is scheduled for March 21st. (Why waiting so long? Her husband won't say much to us-her side of the family) Whatever....going to Sacramento again next Saturday. I am going to drive this time. Going to my brother's and he will continue the drive. My fear is not knowing how I will react. The funeral is more than 2weeks after her death. I am afraid this will wipe out any healing progress and send me back to square one. Plus, I am going to scatter my husband's ashes in the Pacific Ocean on the ride back.
God, this is not going to be pretty. Be ready for me when I get back...thank you.

My thoughts are with you xxx

...and, as I suspected, I am a total wreck. I was one of my sister's poll bearers, even with walking with my cane. Her funeral was beautiful but I completely fell apart. I thought that when that was over and I went to finally fill my husband's last wish on his list he gave me that it would bring me peace that I fulfilled every point on his list. It didn't. Even though it is now 7 months since his death it felt like it just happened. I found the exact spot I was supposed to go to. The tide was coming in and I went out to some rocks that would keep the ashes from blowing back on me and did the deed while my brother stood watch for cops. Some of the ashes did not immediately go straight out to sea and stayed in the sand among those rocks. I stayed until everything went out to sea. I didn't want to do it. I felt like I would never have him again. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It left me feeling very empty. Between the 2 deaths, I feel completely overwhelmed with grief. My heart actually does hurt. I came home and removed my wedding ring and put it away with his. So I am done and it is the worst feeling.

Oh Cat, you must be very kind to yourself and have no expectations that your tears will stop this soon..tears are healing and you have lost two people that you loved. I am so sorry for your pain.

I am so sorry for your lost! I cannot imagine how you are feeling right now.