Markus, there's nothing silly about love! I'm sorry for your loss. Your feelings of guilt are natural, but please keep in mind you did the best you could at that moment. You did exceptionally well by even making the decision to ease Minki's pain and suffering. Not everyone can do that.

I heard this recently, and maybe it can help you:

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

You have many wonderful memories of Minki! Smile because you shared your life with a wonderful friend.

Markus There's nothing silly about your feelings of grief. I have pets (3 cats) and would feel absolutely devastated if anything should happen to any of them.

What you're feeling is totally normal and expected. Give yourself permission....and time....to grieve. There's no correct way or correct time limit to grief. It's all very personal and individual.

Pets are family. Sometimes more so than other humans in our lives. Treasure the memories you have of Minki. You made her life wonderful while she was here. Take comfort in what you did for her while you shared her life.

Thanks for the encouragement. I know it will get better and Sparky that is good advice to rather smile instead of grieve. Right now I am simply not able to but soon I will and then I am going to apply this advice. It's almost as if I do not know myself as I will be doing something or even talk to someone and within a second feel the tears coming and then it really pours. It comes and goes at any time without warning. It is now the 3rd day and I do feel better than the previous two days so I have hope now. So good to talk to people who understands. Thanks!

I call these episodes "grief bursts". They come out of nowhere and have no rhyme or reason. When my husband passed away nearly 11 years ago I would be somewhere.....like the post office......and something would trigger one of these. It was disturbing because I could be fine one minute and the next I was dissolving in tears. As time went on they became less frequent. It's just part of the healing process.

Some times our pets are more like family than people so it is normal to grieve that loss. It is just as real as any other loss. For anyone to think other wise is cruel. I am so sorry for your loss I will pray for you during this time of grief that you remember the wonder memories you have and are able to find peace and comfort.
Brenda

Thanks Brenda, I am better now, although I am yet to have a day without crying. Going to sleep and waking up are the worst times.
This morning I woke up without crying and had to leave the house early as I had a trip to do (I am also a tourist guide in my area Cape Town South Africa). As I left my house, still dark, I noticed some mail in my mailbox. I took the mail and put it in my bag to have a look at it later.
So later as I sat down to have breakfast at this one hotel while waiting to meet with my group, I took the first letter and opened it. It was a card from the veterinary hospital where I took her so often and who put her to sleep in the end, expressing their sympathy with my loss of Minki.
Needless to say it immediately triggered the tears to flow, but eventually I know the day will come without crying. She was such a special cat.

We are very attached to our cats. We've had several very special ones over the past 40 yrs.

The only thing I have found to help with this intense grief is a new kitten. Choose carefully... but it can be great therapy.

I understand your feelings very well... just let the tears come...as they are therapeutic in their own way.

So many people tell me that (getting a new kitten) and thanks for saying it too. Everyone means well but the way I feel now is to never ever get another cat as I simply do not want to experience what I am going through right now ever again. Maybe in a month from now I might feel different about it, but as I say for now not. I knew the day my friends brought Minki to me that I would get too attached to her. Anyway everyone just try to help and encourage me so I appreciate all the comments. This is a good website and I feel supported in my time of grieving. Thanks.