Thanks for the encouragement. I know it will get better and Sparky that is good advice to rather smile instead of grieve. Right now I am simply not able to but soon I will and then I am going to apply this advice. It's almost as if I do not know myself as I will be doing something or even talk to someone and within a second feel the tears coming and then it really pours. It comes and goes at any time without warning. It is now the 3rd day and I do feel better than the previous two days so I have hope now. So good to talk to people who understands. Thanks!

I call these episodes "grief bursts". They come out of nowhere and have no rhyme or reason. When my husband passed away nearly 11 years ago I would be somewhere.....like the post office......and something would trigger one of these. It was disturbing because I could be fine one minute and the next I was dissolving in tears. As time went on they became less frequent. It's just part of the healing process.

Some times our pets are more like family than people so it is normal to grieve that loss. It is just as real as any other loss. For anyone to think other wise is cruel. I am so sorry for your loss I will pray for you during this time of grief that you remember the wonder memories you have and are able to find peace and comfort.
Brenda

Thanks Brenda, I am better now, although I am yet to have a day without crying. Going to sleep and waking up are the worst times.
This morning I woke up without crying and had to leave the house early as I had a trip to do (I am also a tourist guide in my area Cape Town South Africa). As I left my house, still dark, I noticed some mail in my mailbox. I took the mail and put it in my bag to have a look at it later.
So later as I sat down to have breakfast at this one hotel while waiting to meet with my group, I took the first letter and opened it. It was a card from the veterinary hospital where I took her so often and who put her to sleep in the end, expressing their sympathy with my loss of Minki.
Needless to say it immediately triggered the tears to flow, but eventually I know the day will come without crying. She was such a special cat.

We are very attached to our cats. We've had several very special ones over the past 40 yrs.

The only thing I have found to help with this intense grief is a new kitten. Choose carefully... but it can be great therapy.

I understand your feelings very well... just let the tears come...as they are therapeutic in their own way.

So many people tell me that (getting a new kitten) and thanks for saying it too. Everyone means well but the way I feel now is to never ever get another cat as I simply do not want to experience what I am going through right now ever again. Maybe in a month from now I might feel different about it, but as I say for now not. I knew the day my friends brought Minki to me that I would get too attached to her. Anyway everyone just try to help and encourage me so I appreciate all the comments. This is a good website and I feel supported in my time of grieving. Thanks.

There is a saying... I'll paraphrase it here:

The more you LOVE, the more you GRIEVE. People with little or no capacity for love, do not feel loss and grief the same way as others.

In other words, your grief is comparable to your capacity to LOVE.

There are so many kittens lost with no homes. Destroyed or suffering abandonment because no one will LOVE them. I think with some time you will understand this and give one lost little kitty a loving home. Minki taught you this. That is her legacy for you.

Time will point the way for you in this. All living things end. We cannot control this, but to turn away, because of it, does not help any other poor pet languishing for a home.

Don't rush yourself, and choose carefully if you decide to let another pet into your life.

I do feel your loss. I feel my own loss too, your minky, my scruffy. Grief is very hard, and I do still feel it two years later. I have his pictures over my bed. I cried for months. six months later I had a strange experience. My son had two cats, I didn't pay them much mind. Sean was gone alot to work, wasn't home much, left the food down, didn't pay attention to one of them all that much. I went over there, and this strange cat comes running up to me, begging for human contact, hugging, petting, just anything. He was desperate!!!!!! I asked my son if I could take him home. I know for sure he helped my grief. I do not love him like I did scruffy, but he curls up next to me at night, and I pet him and look at scruffys picture. He would have approved of this new friendship. I don't think I will become attached as I was ever again. sometimes that kind of bond is a once in lifetime experience, I believe that. When you feel better, tell me about minky. We can swap stories and shed a tear or two together. I didn't think I would get another cat, it was spur of the moment decision, I put him in the car, where he promply peed all over me. That was this new start ginnie

Markus, this was a no-win situation. Yes, you felt some guilt walking away at the vet's office, but had you not done the right thing then, and instead watched your pet deteriorate and suffer, you would have felt guilt about that too, and wished you had done something sooner.

I get that. I think those of us who have lost pets ALL get that. But what about experiencing the the feelings of joy and laughter and love and happiness during the years you had her? What about experiencing THAT again?

I agree wholeheartedly with MrsD and those who encourage you to allow another pet to receive your love and share your life.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

You cannot change the loss of Minki, or replace her, but I don't think that's the way to look at it.
You CAN change, without guilt, the fate of another pet, and fill the hole in your life left by Minki's loss.

There is no hurry, but there are many, many pets waiting for someone like you to love them and give them a home. One of them needs you as much as you need them. It would be therapeutic for both of you.

Doc

I am thinking of you today. Just wanted you to know that. Minky is in my prayers too. Keep in touch with us as NT. I know so many that have experiencd loss like you have. I am not sure I could have recovered as well as I did without the help I got right here. Your tears and heartache are felt with all of us. ginnie