So many people tell me that (getting a new kitten) and thanks for saying it too. Everyone means well but the way I feel now is to never ever get another cat as I simply do not want to experience what I am going through right now ever again. Maybe in a month from now I might feel different about it, but as I say for now not. I knew the day my friends brought Minki to me that I would get too attached to her. Anyway everyone just try to help and encourage me so I appreciate all the comments. This is a good website and I feel supported in my time of grieving. Thanks.

There is a saying... I'll paraphrase it here:

The more you LOVE, the more you GRIEVE. People with little or no capacity for love, do not feel loss and grief the same way as others.

In other words, your grief is comparable to your capacity to LOVE.

There are so many kittens lost with no homes. Destroyed or suffering abandonment because no one will LOVE them. I think with some time you will understand this and give one lost little kitty a loving home. Minki taught you this. That is her legacy for you.

Time will point the way for you in this. All living things end. We cannot control this, but to turn away, because of it, does not help any other poor pet languishing for a home.

Don't rush yourself, and choose carefully if you decide to let another pet into your life.

Hi mrsD, I have thought about this and I think what could be a possibility is to maybe look for someone who is going on vacation or away on business and needs someone to look after their cat while away. In this way I can give love again and the cat will not be with me too long, so I will feel safe from getting hurt again. I think I would enjoy doing this. Still only thinking about it for now.

I am new to this website and am still learning where to do things and how. I have created an album and am not sure how to let people know where to look if they are interested. Maybe you can see it without me telling you, but I put photos of Minki up for everyone to see. She was a beautiful cat and a real lady.

Awww.. she was a beautiful and sweet cat. Obviously loving you tremendously!

The photos are wonderful. I have some of our cats past and present on my album too.

When Sheba died at 24 of kidney failure, I cried for many days.
But we still had two others, Tippy, also old, and Oreo only 12.
Well, Tippy became depressed when Sheba passed, and 2.5 months later had a blood clot in her spine, and had to be put to sleep (severe suffering and no treatment works). They were friends for 20 yrs. Tippy was a gentle sweet cat too. That second loss for me pushed me over an edge to depression. So I found Weezie, a few days later out of grief, and she is turning into a wonderful companion. (She was the only cat left in a rare winter litter, because she was black and timid and no one would adopt her).


Oreo has developed a slow cancer of the bone marrow, called a mast cell carcinoma, and has outlived predictions so far. Now she is 14 and losing weight, and we know the end for her is near. I think we will get another cat after she passes. Oreo is mostly my husband's cat...so I'll let him decide for now. So far her medication is holding her in a new remission cycle. This will be the 3rd pulse of steroids, so I don't see her surviving much longer.

So I do believe that if you are a true blue cat person, you will eventually need another cat. You will always have Minki in your heart. I have several cats now that way from the past 45 yrs!

Aw, what a cutie pie! I love her little white "socks". You obviously love her very much and I'm sure she was spoiled.....as all cats should be.

Taking care of other pets is a good idea. You can ease yourself back into opening up your heart again.

I do feel your loss. I feel my own loss too, your minky, my scruffy. Grief is very hard, and I do still feel it two years later. I have his pictures over my bed. I cried for months. six months later I had a strange experience. My son had two cats, I didn't pay them much mind. Sean was gone alot to work, wasn't home much, left the food down, didn't pay attention to one of them all that much. I went over there, and this strange cat comes running up to me, begging for human contact, hugging, petting, just anything. He was desperate!!!!!! I asked my son if I could take him home. I know for sure he helped my grief. I do not love him like I did scruffy, but he curls up next to me at night, and I pet him and look at scruffys picture. He would have approved of this new friendship. I don't think I will become attached as I was ever again. sometimes that kind of bond is a once in lifetime experience, I believe that. When you feel better, tell me about minky. We can swap stories and shed a tear or two together. I didn't think I would get another cat, it was spur of the moment decision, I put him in the car, where he promply peed all over me. That was this new start ginnie

Ginnie you wanted to know a bit more about Minki. My sister has 8 cats and I have also visited friends with cats, and most cats have the typical cat behaviors and attitudes. I am referring to when you would call and try to get another cat's attention. They typically will show interest but stay at a distance and when you eventually get to touch them they only allow you little contact until you have won their trust. Or the other side of them is to come and brush their heads and tails against you for attention.
Minki was neither.....she would live in her own world and look at people when they visit me and you could walk up to her and touch her, she would allow that, but then carry on in her world again. Nothing like most other cats. She would steal your heart without you knowing it. Everyone liked her.
When I picked her up in my arms she would always put her one paw on my thumb and lean with her head against my arm. When I bent forward while holding her she would remain in that position and the full weight of her head would be on my forearm. It was so cute to see as she was trusting me fully not to let her fall.
In the evenings she would be lying with me as I watch TV and I would always put my hand, arm or body against her while she sleeps.
At bedtime she would be sleeping where we were sitting in the living room and she will wait for me to carry her to the bed where she would sleep right next to my pillow, and off course my hand or arm would be around her. She would wake up to turn on her other side and then put her body again against my arm and sleep further. She never went out at night but would sleep with me till early morning. Then she would go out and come back in. One little maauw with her little voice and I was always getting up to give her food. Then we would both sleep a little longer again before I had to get up.
I had cat flaps put in everywhere so she could go out at any time. When she was outside in the garden and I would look through the window to see where she was, I could see the little white face from a distance in the dark and she was always noticing me when I did. As if she was constantly looking for any sign of me. I have more to tell you but for now I will end.
My first language is Afrikaans so excuse the English when I make small mistakes with grammar or spelling. It is night time here and you have day now (I think about 7 or 8 hours difference) Thank you for your interest in getting to know more about Minki.

She was awsome. Loved the way she slept with you. That bond was with you both, I can feel that. When she put her head on you with complete trust, and slept by your head. I do believe with all my heart, that some bonds that we have with animals are closer sometimes that what people have with each other. She looked for you, and I bet you wanted to know where she was all the time too. Minky cannot be replaced, and you already know that. Nor will I have my scruffy, unless God grants us that. It is good that you have those photos. My friend made a mural of Scruffy to mark his life. One picture for each of his 21 years. Keep those photos near you and it does help. I don't ever want to feel pain like this again either Markus. Emotionally it is so hard to get over., in fact you only learn to live with it, never really get over it. I can tell you one good thing that happens when your tears stop a bit. You will start thinking more of all the good things there were with minky. I wrote some stories down about Scruffy that I remember from my years with him. Maybe it would be good if you did that too. Some of those special moments are worth writing down and never forgetting. Just like you expressed to me in this post, Keep that as a start, the positions she was in, in your arms, and by your head in sleep. Any antics she did, and keep her toys. She was just beautiful, and looks like a lady too. What you did for her, was the greatest gift you could give, even though it cost you pain. You released her from this life, so that she didn't hurt anymore. One of my friends here is an animal resuce person, who has more compassion than anyone I have ever met. It was into her arms that I placed Scruffy that last day. I know I did the right thing too Markus, and it does cost terrible pain to do that, but neither of our babies have to hurt anymore. It is a selfless act of mercy, and I am sure your minky knew you loved her. That is what I think when I go to cry, like right now. I still do after two years. It doesn't take alot to set me to tears. It is OK to cry anytime. I do, but not as often these days.
Tell me in your first language, I love you Minky... I would like to hear how that sounds in your own language. Any stories you have to share, I am here for you. Keep in touch Markus, grief is a universal language. ginnie

Marcus, you might want to investigate Bombay cats.

They are very owner centered and unique. Almost like a dog.
Smart, learn language, so you can talk to them.

Weezie is an unregistered Bombay, and we didn't know that
when we adopted her. She was the second runt, and very tiny and timid, and no one would adopt her. She was the last kitten in that November litter. Bombay's have a special coat...very glistening like diamonds.

Weezie likes to sleep with me when it is cold or cool out, and she is always with me in some way around the house. She doesn't meow much but goes "wheeeee" instead, and squeals alot. So I named her Weezie. She is a master fetch player too...only she had chosen black twist-ties as her prey. Squealing when I ask her if she is "ready" and wheeeee off I throw it...she brings it back to my feet. LOL She found the ties
on the floor near our new TV set when our son installed it for us. When she was tiny she was obsessed with the cords from the computer, which I had to NO NO about. When she found the twist-ems, she squealed and brought them to me! So I roll them into a spiral and she fetches them now. It is a game we play when it is too cold for her to be on the porch or outside.
Weezie is certainly unique in her own ways too!

Bombay's:
http://animal.discovery.com/tv-shows...eos/bombay.htm

YouTube has many videos of Lava the cat from the Animal Planet video above... this owner takes him everywhere with him!