Still trying.Took his neuropsych report to a county social worker for a second read because the guy that did the test and report was kind of a schmuck. She said looks like some ADD, and not so sure about the memory issues because of the way it was written. She said he needed further testing and it would be a really good idea. Meanwhile, we don't talk about it at home and it's weird and intolerable (almost) to me to be living with someone that I can't communicate very well with. I feel angry that he wasn't honest and forthright when we got married and I asked him about his cognitive disability and he said he had no issues. I keep going over it in my mind...was I in denial or what? I never wanted t live like I do. Islolated with a person that makes me feel crazy!

Hi Tak,

I was wondering how things were going for you. That would drive me nuts too!! Does he still think he doesnt have any issues?

Love it-"That would drive me nuts too"..ha ha. Kind of admits it, but says he can manage it on his own. I keep trying because I'm scared to get div. and move and stuff! What if I regret it?

Tak,

Thats OK ---you have to follow your gut. If/when there comes a time you will know for sure. I still would always have a plan or start making one just in case ..like savings account for yourself etc...if that does come it just makes it easier one less thing to worry about. I admire that you keep trying and it will be easier for you in the long to deal with a divorce and mentally to heal from it --because you will know tried your best. At our age and spending 20 yrs with someone -- its very normal to be scared and start over thats why I suggest you always have a back up plan.Its your life and you have do what feel right for you.

Actually, seeing the "I can manage it on my own" phenomenon being played out through a brother-in-law of mine, I am certain such statements are hogwash. Last weekend, being with family mourning the loss of a sister-in-law to RSD associated matters, we had to deal with brother-in-law's dysfuntion, his berating me, his emotional pummeling both me and my blessed wife, and to tell you the truth, I HAD ENOUGH OF IT FOR A LIFETIME.... there, I shouted and got it out....

When challenging brother-in-law to seek and GET help, having him sit in a chair opposite me screwing his face up and pounding his forehead with index finger saying "I am working on it myself.... in here" I am absolutely certain he is denying every opportunity to receive true help. He is a controller. He is lost. He causes harm with nearly every word issued from his mouth.

I am done with him. Don't need the "brain damage" anymore.

That is just my take on "managing it on his own."

Blessings,

Mark...so very touching. So very sorry for your grief.

And condolences to everyone here who is grieving.

Ger715 .... Good for you for doing what your instincts are telling you is the right thing to do for you. If you haven't done so already, you might want to check into a website called Chrisbeatcancer. It is fabulous. He had surgery and no chemo or radiation, did a clean diet and supplements and it's been something like ten years (not sure exactly) and he (Chris) is doing great!

Click here...great stuff
http://www.chrisbeatcancer.com

Thank you for your PM which alerted me to your response. Very much appreciated. Will check the above out.

Although my cancer was rectal; 2 ft. of colon was removed along with retum; but muscle in tack so did not require a colostomy. High doses of narcotic meds for my PN has caused nasty constipation requiring daily doses of miralax etc. to keep things moving. Things not as they should be there;, scar tissue, etc., causing added pain.

Had a colonoscopy about three months ago. Just one non-cancerous polyp. Otherwise colon is okay.

Not sure what lies ahead; but am really looking forward to being called "Home".



Gerry

I am so very sorry for your loss. Grief is the great equalizer in this life. At some point it touches us all. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. ginnie

You expressed grief and loss from your own intimate experience. I am sorry you are going through all this with your dad. The human condition, it grabs us all, and it hurts. I wish I could grab you right now and give you a hug and tell you I care. I lost both my folks, have no contact with my daughter and grandchild, I know the pain you are feeling. We so need our faith, and each other when these traumas visit us. I want you to know that I may not write every day, but I read all the posts. You will be in my thoughts and prayers, and I asked my angel to visit your dad. I am with you as a sister Mark, and I never will forget you and your family in my prayers. May God and his son, watch over your family and give you the strength you need. xxxginnie

Dear Heart, you are a precious friend. Thank you so much for your message and your prayers,
Blessings