Hi my name is joely I lost my mother in December 2011 and I tell you it has not gotten any easier for me...I was holding my mothers hand when she took her last breath...She was only 65 yrs old and I am still grieving horribly bad and I am now on depression meds cause i am having a very hard time just going about my day on a normal level...She was creamated and did not want any services I still have her ashes and I just don,t know what to do...When I think about even having a service I start to ball like a baby and don,t want to let her go......The hardest part I think is the fact I can,t pick up the phone and call her anymore....Mother,s day was the worst...Any help or sugesstions would be greatly apprechiated....Thanks.....

Very sorry for your loss. Did your mother have a long illness?

My dad passed away some years ago at age 64. He had a heart attack. Even tho he had moved to another state; I still missed not talking with him. There were days I felt like calling his old phone number knowing he would not answer. What helped me most was knowing he would not have to suffer and was thankful for that.

As difficult as it now seems; it will eventually be a beautiful memory of the good times that were shared and you will enjoy talking about them without tears.
The smiles will come.


Gerry

I am very sorry for your loss. Time will heal, and the grieving will be a little less each month, each year. You will remember all the good, I promise you. Right now, allow yourself to go through all the emotions you are. This is part of the process, and tears are normal, many tears are normal. My mom has been gone since 2005, and I still cry at times. Our mothers are our best friend.. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Grief council can be found if you need an ear of a professional. I did that through hospice. Be kind to yourself, and lean on your friends for support. ginnie

That separation of passing is one heart string which, when plucked, is so hard to endure as its vibrations send feelings throughout our souls....each of us. I have found in faith difficult experiences such as this can be weathered even the better. Also, I write poetry quite a bit, and it is amazing how it calms a troubled soul.

Just recently, very recently two very dear to my life went on the path of passing- my sis-in-law Terri who had suffered horrid RSD/CRPS for about 14 years, and my [almost 93 years young ] friend Raymond. For Raymond, I was there holding his hand up until the last hour of his time, and, although the hospice nurse chided me Not to sing or stroke the skin of my friend, I internalized my singing and mind-to-mind sang my heart out inaudibly to others going through all of the songs which came to mind at that time. Tears even well up contemplating these thoughts, and it is surely natural as we move through the grief process.

For you I will pray, if that is OK, that you will know comfort and peace, then bear remembrances of joy for your Mom, who for now, is just a little bit out of reach.

Hoping all the best for you with hugs of comfort,
Yup

I am so sorry for your loss. My mother and I lived together (for over 50 years) until the day she died. She was my BEST friend in addition to being a GREAT mother. I was stuck in a deep hole of depression for MANY years. Still depressed but getting better. I had lost other relatives and had grieved for them but when I lost my Mom, it was like nothing I could have ever imagined. The grief was unbearable. I left my Mom's things exactly as they were the day she died for many years. Then a natural disaster destroyed most of her items. I was FORCED to let go of her material possessions that I could not part with previously. The items that were salvagable were hard to let go but I took pictures of them and then donated to a charity.

I finally came to realize that she would not want me to quit on life. Your Mom would not want you to be stuck in a state of depression. Maybe if you think about what she would say to you if she could, it will help you to move on. Wouldn't she want you to be happy? I try to remember that my Mom would want happiness for me and I could honor her by living life. It has taken me over 10 years to reach this point. I sure hope you adjust much sooner. The loss will always be there but she wants you to have a good life.

Your Mom has not been gone very long so I know how fresh your grief. Do not expect too much from yourself. I felt like everyone else's life went on as usual but mine was stopped in its tracks. I wondered how everyone else could just go back to their lives. I wanted everyone else to be stuck too. I felt very alone, not just physically, but emotionally. No one understood my grief. After time passes, no one wants to hear about your grief. My only remaining relative once told me to "Get over it". That is probably the worst thing anyone has ever said to me in my entire life. I will NEVER "get over it". I have just learned better tools to cope with it. I go to the cemetery and talk to my Mom. I have ritual days I visit her gravesite.

OK, I have said more than anyone needs to read but I leave you with these parting words. It WILL get better. It takes time, sometimes a long time but your Mom is still with you in your heart. Your Mom's life was cut short, so don't let yours disappear from you and shorten by grief. Find someone that will listen over and over about your loss without judgement. Maybe even a professional or just a friend. I went it alone, ...... maybe I should have taken my own advice.

Joely I'm so sorry for your loss. They say when our mothers die, it's like the nucleus of the family dies. Anniversary dates, holidays, and especially Mothers Day are rough ones....we see those empty chairs and pass by the card section in the store with tears running down our cheeks.

It will get easier with time. Give yourself all the time you need.

Hello, I am new here as well and dealing with loss of closest family member. I have been told by someone who lost their father that even years after I will get sad moments and its really disheartening. I think what helps me the most is belief that the person is not actually gone.
Trying to talk to them and hoping they can hear us and try to not worry them too much with our grief. I always remind myself that my beloved person who is around me and keeping an eye on me will get even sadder if I cant continue on and enjoy life so you should always push away the dark thoughts and repeat to your mother that you love her.

The post by Hurira is so true. At my moms funeral, I told her friends, that there is only a thin veil, seperating this life from the Next. I truely believe that. Also Energy nevrer dies, it transforms. WE are composed of pure energy. That energy still surrounds you, your mother still surrounds you. I am praying for you today and everyday. ginnie

Yes, this feeling of being among those who have gone before helps realization we carry part of the essence with us and are blessed continually helps. In this way we think of the now and experience the forever wherever we may be. So, I carry our granddaughter, who passed at birth, despite her moving on to the next plane as I hope one day to experience her in person, happy and blessed.

Life blesses and its passages bless eternally,
LOVE,

Joely, keep your head up and stay strong. I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my mom in 2008 when I was 13 years old. Now I'm 18 and even today there are some hard moments in our life where we only want our most loved, near as, at least to speak with them, or hug them. You must know that she would not want to see you sad because shes gone. And she is there, she is still in your heart. Mine is.