Hi Ravenclaw,

You will likely pass through different stages, and more than once, as time passes.

Please be gentle with yourself. I'm not sure it helps us to set expectations for our feelings and for all we experience when grieving significant losses. It all takes time, and in the meantime, the experiences and emotions vary.

I have found the depth of the grief hits me much later, sometime after the shock has worn off. I am often in much deeper grief 6 months after a loss than I am immediately after a loss, as the realities of the loss, and how the loss plays out in my everyday life has then set in and I cannot further delay facing the depth of the loss. That's just my own experience.

I know, from experience, just when I think I am done grieving, or have no more tears to shed, I am suddenly surprised by a sudden tearful episode, or I suddenly have a visual memory, or I suddenly recall a feeling, a scent, etc.

Reminders are often all around us, even in other people and our brain picks up on them even when we do not consciously pick up on them.

You love him dearly. You will continue to grieve. You will grieve in ways most helpful to you and at a pace most helpful to you. Trust your grieving process.

This all takes lots of time and lots of self-compassion.

Much Love and Prayers,


DejaVu