thank you so much everyone for your kind and thoughtful answers that has meant so much to me. Sorry I haven't responded until now. You're right English Dave, I felt a lot less alone when I read what people had written. I'll answer a few of the questions that people have asked me to clarify my situation. I live in a town rather than a city but health services are still rather Limited particularly in the case of care for people with pain. hence the need to travel to 3 other regions to get basic care. by that I mean 3 weeks in a rehab Hospital and seeing pain specialists elsewhere as my own region does not even have any specialist services. as far as family goes I have frail parents who I was caring for before I became ill. My siblings live overseas. sorry I will have to leave this message as I am mainly using voice activation because my hands are very painful and I have photosensitivity, part of my neurological illness. Just gets too difficult to write. thank you so much to all of you. It means a lot to me that you took the time to reply