if i could cuddle you i would,(cuddle is like a hug just with much more meaning)
im not here to encourage you to read a book,just to pass on my heart felt thoughts and feelings
its 30 years since i lost my brother and not quite 1 year since my father died..
i would love to say i have found all the answers to life's strange and sometimes very very empty hurtfull questions but then i would have to admit i'm a long way from that.
i could also say "i should have" or "i could have" but then "could i" or "should i"
if nothing else this year has taught me "i couldn't" and "i shouldn't"
"does it make it any easier?" .. for me, and probably everyone else that would be a "no"
but to feel that you are not alone in these thoughts and feelings ,for me, makes the world of difference.
tomorrows a new day,a new beginning, may your memories live with you, try not to let them be your life..

big cuddles


steash

What everybody is saying is the truth, Linda. I deeply care for you and am concerned you need a different DR than the one you have.

As you know I have lossed my husband of 47 yrs and its not easy. The best thing is not to obess about your loss. Try to picture him in a better place where he isn't suffering anymore. That GOD is taking care of him and that he has a new body now. The Bible tells us this is so. Picture him watching over you so that you won't be alone. This is what I do, when trouble comes along.
I will say a prayer for you tonight.I care so much for you.
Hugs, Billie

i thank you all so very much...your words are truth but i am so lost...can't seem to find my way..i am trying to stay busy at work..but that is only 6 hrs out of the night- yes i am very angry at the hospital workers and myself...when i try to let go of the anger i drown in the tears...my therapist and i are working hard on this problem--not getting far--it is so hard!!!!!! between the physical pain and the depression(mental pain) i am a wreck..traiin wreck..looking at the light at the end of the tunnel and it is the train light ready to run me down some more... guess i am still a work in progress......forever........thanks for thinking of me and all your words of wisdom...i will keep trying--forever is a long time--and forever is how long i will miss my david---prayers for some peace of mind for us all---linda

((((((Linda)))))),

I do -- I *DO* -- pray for an easing of your pain so you can remember how wonderful it was to have David in your life.

I know you can't believe it now because you still hurt so much. But, the memories, THE MEMORIES, are what we all have. Memories of childhool. Memories of laughter. Memories of our Mothers and Fathers. And, if we were lucky, memories of our Grandfathers and our Grandmothers.

Memories are such an incredible gift. They connect the generations. But, we can't open the gifts until the tears lessen. I still ache for my Brother. I still miss him. It's been over 41 years now. But, when I go to sleep at night or when my mind wanders during the day, I have all those wonderful memories.

I wish that for you, Linda -- an easing of your pain -- so you can live the life that David wants you to live.

BIG HUGS (and love).

Barb

barb--i am so sorry for you and all the others who have had such devastating losses in their life...when i remember all the memories it is just still too hard to enjoy them..they make me so sad that i won't have any more future things to make memories of him..the memories hurt me beyond words..they make my heart bleed...i know this is not what he nor my mom want for me..but one by one my whole family has gone--leaving me to miss them--it is just too much for me to deal with..the day for laughing and smiling while remembering all the wonderful times we had i pray will happen soon cuz this pain is so much for me to handle...thanks for all your caring..i really don't know where i would be without you and this site...i have never met such caring people and thank god everyday for having found it and all of you..it does help me so very much--even thru all the tears i cry--my friend wants me to go to group therapy--but i don't think i am ready yet...i always feel things so hard and hearing others in pain hurts me too...maybe one day??? just not yet...i am still trying.... hugs to you..your words do make me feel as if i am not so alone-- my friends think i am holdiing on to my losses too much and really don't want to hear it anymore--so i keep my feelings mostly to myself and my therapist--who i see on wed. should see her everyday..but costs too much in co-pays--she has been a doll and not charging me the $30. a visit..i give her what i can when i can-and she is ok with that...going to have a cup of tea and try to sleep...hopefully without my sad dreams---linda