i am new to this sight, and don t really know if i should be here. i am pregnant and found out a week ago that there is no heart beat and that the baby died june 1st (almost 3 weeks ago). i can t function, my boyfriend thinks that i should be grateful for the kids i do have, but i can t even seem to look at them without being recentful, i try to fake it around them and make them think everything is fine, but i seem to be yelling at every1 all the time. don t get me wrong i love my children and i really don t want to hurt them in anyway. i jus dunno wat to do anymore.

hello and welcome to NeuroTalk tho I am really so sorry to hear what brought you here

I lost two babies and so I deeply understand what you are going through.
The emotional trauma of a miscarriage is hard enough, but there is also a physiological aspect to this as the pregnancy hormones suddenly not being there anymore can do all kinds of weird stuff too.

and you are grieving the death of your baby.
grief has many phases
here is some info that may help your boyfriend understand
http://miscarriage.about.com/od/copi.../emotional.htm


Do you have anyone trustworthy to be able to talk to there? a pastor or close family/friends? Have you told your doctor how you are feeling?


it really is good that you are here releasing how you feel as that is a step in the right direction for your healing.
we are here for you

I will keep you and your family in my prayers

I do feel for you Broken.

I lost 4 babies so I know what you're going through. One of mine died inside me, and I carried a dead baby for 4 weeks before I miscarried it. I was 5 months pregnant at the time.

It takes a long time to get over the pain of losing a child, even one whom you've never had the opportunity to hold.

I'm sure people mean well but sometimes their comments can cut to the bone. Things like it was only a miscarriage..... you'll get over it.... you can always have another one. It takes another mother who's lost a child to understand that terrible pain.

You need to grieve your loss, and everybody grieves differently. What works for one person will not necessarily work for another, but there are support services everywhere. Places offering women's services are usually a good place to begin if that's the path you'd like to try. Look in your phone book and see if there's anything like that available in your area.

Apart from that I can only offer you my empathy; my understanding. I hope your pain starts to ease soon, and I do hope your boyfriend will see that you're hurting and give you the love and support that you need.

Dearest Broken,

My heart goes out to you during this very difficult time.
Chemar and Koala have written many kind words. Lots of very loving people here!

I am feeling a bit "under the weather" and short on words at the moment; however, I do want to take the time to welcome you, to acknowledge your pain, and to encourage you to spend some time here with us, if you feel comfortable doing so?

I will be thinking of you and will continue to offer prayers of comfort and healing every day.

I am glad you are here with us. You are a part of the Neurotalk family now... if this meets with your approval?

May we walk along beside you, showing support, while you grieve and heal?

Please continue to share if/when you feel led to do so.

Healing Hugs~

I think this is very common in pregnancy, more than most people think. I also lost four babies to miscarriages.. one in the 5th month and the baby had died weeks before I aborted.

You have every right and need to grieve for the lost of your baby. He/she was a part of your life even for a short time. When I lost mine it was 30 years and was told that it wasn't really baby. Doctors now have a bit more compassion and I hope you have that is.

I denied my losses until my 16 year old daughter in 2000. I went to a Compassionate Friends meeting and met a woman who had just lost her 6th baby, including one who had been stillborn. She had six children who survived, but she still recognized the need to grieve the babies she lost. I learned a lot from her.

So now each of my babies have a name and a place in my heart. I remember the day they were 'born', even if it wasn't a physical birth. They were still born in some realm, and their presence in my life still made an impact.

Even if others don't understand, you need to allow yourself to grieve and cry. I know from experience, both my own and my husband's, that if you deny your grief, it will effect you later in many different ways. My husband ended up in the hospital the night before our daughter's funeral because he could cope with her death. Why? Because he had never really dealt with his mother's death and his brother's. He held it all in and it caused him an awful anxiety attack that appeared to be a heart attack.

My deepest sympathies on the loss of your baby.

thank u all so much...so much is goin thru my head rt now and i don t even know where 2 begin at tellin u all how grateful i am 2 know that there r ppl out there that took a cpl of minutes outta ur day 2 let me know that i m not goin crazy (yet). and 2 give y'all an update. i spent 4 hours in the docs office 2day...1 hour looking at my baby on the ultrasound, jus 2 confirm there is no heartbeat...ugh...the rest talkin 2 doc and scheduling the d&c for next week. i feel like i have givin up on my baby, i know its not really that way but idk. k can t c much of the screen anymore thru the tears, so thank u soooo much 4 lettin me vent a bit...ttys luv an hugs 2 y'all

Hello. Im new here also. I also lost my baby son from SIDS. He died the day he turned 4 weeks old. I understand what you are going through to an extent. No one else buy you are in your shoes and knows exactly your circumstances, but, I did want to tell you that by sharing your feelings and not keeping it all stuffed inside you, you are doing the right step in healing. It's taken me alot of years to heal, and I still cannot get the image out of my mind of that last morning with Kory when I woke up and he was not alive anymore. I am sure that Im not the only one that can somewhat relate to you and your pain and loss. Keep sharing your feelings and dont keep them all stuffed inside you. For years, I turned to alcohol for numbnes and relief. Then I just came across many many more problems. This is NOT the answer by any means. I will pray for you, and just realize that you're not alone. Sincerely, Mykinzie