[allison81]

Hi. I am new to the site and was wondering if I could get some advice because medical professionals have let me down so I am turning here.

My husband had a nervous breakdown a few months ago. It started out by him being withdrawn and hypersensitive about what others were saying about him. He was finishing up his degree and trying to get a job, but in the end couldnt find anything. He has always been quiet and introspective so I thought that this change in him was because of the stress of looking for a job.

He thought that he was being offered a job, but the way he was talking about it I thought that he was confused or being misled. Then suddenly one day he became very delusional and was convinced I was cheating on him. I found out that there was no job and that he had been imagining it. I took him to the hospital and he was admitted for three days and then he requested to leave and he did, but he was still confused about reality. They gave him antipsychotics which he is still taking, but there was no follow up because his insurance would not pay for outpatient therapy only inpatient.

In the beginning his insurance (through a university) said they were going to pay for outpatient therapy through a hospital, but then after three weeks of me trying to get things in place with them they decided not to pay. He recovered after one long month and he now knows that the things he used to believe as true never happened.

He found a temporary job, but is still loooking for something permanent. He is no longer delusional, but it is difficult to have a conversation with him because he is so preoccupied with his own thoughts. He says he is thinking about work and about finding a job.

I dont know what to do at this point. He has good health insurance now, but does not want to see a psychiatrist or therapist because he doesnt trust/ feel comfortable with them and I dont know if I blame him for everything we went through with his university health insurance and the university mental health department. At the same time I really dont know what to do now. I dont know if this will all just be better once he gets a job.

I think he was depressed and that is why he had a break with reality, but I dont know. If anyone has any suggestions or advice, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much.

[Rapunzel]

Therapy is still important, and I hope that he will change his mind and give it a try. Yes, psychosis can be related to severe depression. He might not become psychotic again, but it will be much less likely, and he will also have much better chances of managing his depression, if he gets therapy and understands where these problems were coming from, and learns skills to recognize and manage the symptoms. Medication helps to manage symptoms too, but it is not a cure. Therapy can treat the roots of the problem.

The other side of it, though, is that it needs to be his choice to go to therapy. It won't work unless he is willing to do the work. Nobody can change somebody else. Since you have been affected by what happened as well, and you are still concerned and probably experiencing some distress, you might consider getting therapy for yourself. It won't change your husband, unless maybe he sees you benefitting and decides to give it a try, but it will help you to cope and to be able to decide what to do.

[Vowel Lady]

What the above poster said makes much sense to me.
You mentioned that your husband has good insurance at this time. Hopefully, the pain of what he has experienced or continues to experience would motivate him to at least be open to the idea of contiuing with medication and seeing a therapist for additional treatment. Bottom line...it's his choice to make, but more chance for real change with this type of treatment.

Additionally, if this causes you great anguish, I would agree it might be a good idea for you to see your own therapist.

[RhiannonsMoon]

From the sounds of things your hsuband was paranoid as well as depressed and psychotic. But the three can go hand in hand.

I can tell you just being a nurse in the mental health field for a short while made me petrified of ever getting mental illness. When I did get mental illness (or as it is known to be now a re-emergence) I did nothing for over 3 years. Nothing at all because I was afraid that I'd be locked down just for not being in the moment.

He would be afraid as well as unwell. You do need help and advice on this from some real professionals. Some forms of mental illness can make certain sufferers very cagey, avoidant, suspicious, and even afraid of their own family members, let alone Drs they don't know.

Please reach out to someone professionally on this site. They will be able to guide you so that you don't feel so alone or at a loss.

The rest of us will support you through it,

((((hugs))))
Rhiannon

[Catch]

I agree with the others here, while watchful waiting seems like enough, and only you know your husband, dealing with someone who is delusional and paranoid can be extremely trying. I would be seeking knowledge and support right now and hope I never have to use it.

[tinglytoes]

Originally Posted by allison81

Hi. I am new to the site and was wondering if I could get some advice because medical professionals have let me down so I am turning here.

My husband had a nervous breakdown a few months ago. It started out by him being withdrawn and hypersensitive about what others were saying about him. He was finishing up his degree and trying to get a job, but in the end couldnt find anything. He has always been quiet and introspective so I thought that this change in him was because of the stress of looking for a job.

He thought that he was being offered a job, but the way he was talking about it I thought that he was confused or being misled. Then suddenly one day he became very delusional and was convinced I was cheating on him. I found out that there was no job and that he had been imagining it. I took him to the hospital and he was admitted for three days and then he requested to leave and he did, but he was still confused about reality. They gave him antipsychotics which he is still taking, but there was no follow up because his insurance would not pay for outpatient therapy only inpatient.

In the beginning his insurance (through a university) said they were going to pay for outpatient therapy through a hospital, but then after three weeks of me trying to get things in place with them they decided not to pay. He recovered after one long month and he now knows that the things he used to believe as true never happened.

He found a temporary job, but is still loooking for something permanent. He is no longer delusional, but it is difficult to have a conversation with him because he is so preoccupied with his own thoughts. He says he is thinking about work and about finding a job.

I dont know what to do at this point. He has good health insurance now, but does not want to see a psychiatrist or therapist because he doesnt trust/ feel comfortable with them and I dont know if I blame him for everything we went through with his university health insurance and the university mental health department. At the same time I really dont know what to do now. I dont know if this will all just be better once he gets a job.

I think he was depressed and that is why he had a break with reality, but I dont know. If anyone has any suggestions or advice, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much.

Such an anxiety provoking event for both of you. So sorry it has been difficult to find a good direction to go toward help. I do hope your doctors absolutely ruled out any possibility of deficiency or other biochemical imbalance before they label it mental illness and permanently side track future doctors away from the underlying cause. Good luck and the folks here might be able to direct any research for you which will save you from the stress of re-inventing the wheel of links and all. A neuro-psychology work up might give the best evaluation at this time. Best Wishes TT