I dont know where to begin today. I am feeling so low right now and i dont know how i got here. Well i do know but i feel as if i m in a fog right now and i cnat find my way out of this. It started 5 yrs ago when i got the diagnoises of bipolar and then my world went upsdie down for the next few yrs. I thought i was doing good and just a moody person. till one day i lose touch with reality andit was all brought to the surface of many yrs of denail. I had two kids that i was caring for and myself so i didnt have time to take care of myself mentally. But as we all know bipolar doesnt wait till your ready to take care of it. I started treatment adn i really thought that i would be better soon. However it was shown to me that i was dead wrong, because here i am 5 yrs later and still struggling. I am now struggling with depression more thani have ever have. teh good part is that the mood swings are under control at this point. But God i cant shake this gloomy empty feeling that lingers everyday. I really feel like i am just takeing up space here lately. I do nothing all day. The highlight of my day would be if i go to the store or have a doc appt these days. I have lost my kids to theri fathers becasue of me not being able to care for them the way that they needed to be cared for. I dont work anymore . SO i just exist everyday

Welcome to Neurotalk!
You've come upon a wonderful forum and I hope you stick around because there are SO MANY caring people here! People who understand and who have been through some of the worse possible battles - emotional and physical alike.

Here is the link to another forum here you may find very helpful......
it's very active and you'll meet many friends who will embrace your struggles...

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/fo...aysprune=&f=38

I know that 'empty feeling' you describe. It's a very lonely feeling and we NEED fellowship to help get past the isolation and darkness.

You are among friends
Truly Caring
Rae

Bless your heart ~ I know that deep dark place that you talk about. It's pretty awful. I HOPE that you're on an antidepressant ~ if you're not, you should be. If you are on one, perhaps it's not working anymore. sometimes we get 'used' to our antidepressants and they stop working -- maybe yours just needs to be increased or perhaps you need to be switched to another kind.

I've gotten used to mine before and my doc had to switch me to a different one. Right now, I'm on Cymbalta twice a day and it's working well. I'm clinically depressed - I was depressed even as a child, and have been on an antidepressant all my adult life.

I know how you're feeling, dearheart. There are times that I feel like I'm just a bump on a log ~ that I have no earthly reason to be here. But then I think about my family, and all the blessings i've been given - and I'm grateful. So I try not to do too much thinking ~ my mind is a dangerous neighborhood! Please stay in touch with us, and keep us updated. We do care. Hugs, Lee

hi,
iunderstand how you are feeling. i don't suffer from bipolar but i do have borderline personality disorder, major depressive disorder and now it feels like agorophobia disorder. i can't leave the house without great anxiety, i don't work anymore and just exist on a daily basis. this is my first time ever joing a forum. I was hoping to be able to talk with people who share the same experiences. I can't seem to even get out of bed. we have to hang in there and somehow support each other to get over the hurdles. hope to hear from you. i don't even know if you'll get this as i don't know how this works

You need hobby and job, gives you purpose and direction. If you are financially stable, a hobby could work. You should also eat out occasionally, exercise, go to movies, park, just have fun. I'd also suggest to get in touch with those kids, have them visit and spend quality time bonding in or out of the house. If the situation requires you not to be around them alone, invite the father and keep it casual and in good spirits. Do something to breath life into yourself.

"Time is the most valuable of currency, don't waste it on sorrow, better to spend it happy."
(I now live with evil person that is trying to kill me through verbal abuse and it's psychological effects that branch there from. This person had shattered me into something dark but I shed my face of frown to a smile knowing the sunrise and the song will always be there. I live in a prison but a prison can only trap me physically, my decision whether it takes me emotionally. As said, spend time wise, not for misery but for joy.)

Best of luck

Hi Pamela and Findingmyself...welcome to NeuroTalk. This Depression Forum isn't as active as it could be...so many of us are depressed and need to talk about it...need support.

Here is a link to our sister forum..http://forums.psychcentral.com/

which you might find helpful.

First, I too am from upstate NY and lack of sun doesn't help,as I also feel somedays I'm just taking up space. But of those days I reach out, to anyone,or go to a support group. Sometimes knowing I'm not the only one who feels this way somehow helps. I wish you peace in this journey we call life.