I'll have to check the other post. I was brought up Jewish and seem to find myself wanting to get back to it. I guess it's part of the "I'll try anything." mentality. I usually tell people, "There will always be prayer in school as long as there are finals."

So we celebrate Haunamas here. We have my wife and I, my duaghter and her husband and her 5 year old twins and the 3 week old baby.

It's a long story. At 6 months the father of the twins thought rearing twins was too much work so he split. Luckily we were in a position to help and had her move home. 5 years later here we still are.

I digress. When in the hospital I would have a rabbi stop by and we would say a prayr and I felt like such a hypocrite. Not doing anything for years and asking for help now.

Do you watch Big Bang Theory? I get such a crack up from it. People all think they are weirdos, but they actually have a highly developed sense of humor. It's a special kind. People tell me I have an English sense of humor. Very dry. However my friends in London love it.

My sense of humor tends towards the baser things. Let me give you an example. Remember the old computer key punch cards? (I am dating myself. I am 56) Well the keypunch machines had a bin for all the chads that needed to be emptied from time to time. We got a mess in a paper bag and went back to the dorm. We went into the shower and when someone stepped out (whoosh) we emptied the bag at them. They were wet and the chads took about 5 years to clean off a wet body. Um or so I heard. I would never participate in a joke like that.

What I typed was Maxwell's equation. According to sources on the web it "represents one of the most elegant and concise ways to state the fundamentals of electricity and magnetism."

Career wise I have been lucky enough to have worked as an expat in 13 countries. Growing up in the midwest you wonder if you will ever get to Disneyland. I live in San Diego now.

I'm just blathering around now. I hate the holidays. Why do people who are crappy all year suddenly give you, "it's Christmas, be nice.?

Oh, I give my wife plenty of hints and she just kind of laughs it off. People say, "Do it yourself." Where is the fun in that? Here is some Talmudic logic.

It says that to have sex with someone to whom you are not married is a sin. However, sex on the Sabbath is a double good deed. So if you have sex on the Sabbath with somone to whom you aren't married, you're one up. Clever huh? Busy Friday? Ar Ar.

I am just so sad I don't know what to do. Have the time when I strap on my CPAP at night I just wish I wouldn't wake up. Or that sometime I should have come home in a box. I just want to run away, drop off the grid and live somewhere else, work and start over. Now that I've burdened you, have a nice night.

Where do I find the post you were talking about please?

I know about your celebration of the season too! 8 days of fun with your family, that began a day or so before the Christian holiday. Haunakak which is probably not the right spelling. I have friends from every faith, I'm not picky at all. So many wars have been fought over religion, . Besides you are Gods chosen people. I have no doubt about that. I am currently reading the history (900) pages of the history of Jeruselam. I was looking at a picture of the Wailing wall yesterday over at a friends house. That was from the second destruction of the temple. I am learing your history! I get my hands on anything I can about religion, and physics, trying to put the two together.
You are lucky to have your family there with you. Too bad your daughters husband didn't like the work of the twins. bad dad... you did the best thing you could do, by opening your heart and home to your family. That should make you feel just a bit good, as you did the what God tells us to do.
Get me going, and I'll be asking all kinds of questions about your faith! Don't feel bad about returning to religion late, I went back to the Catholic church to see if they could help me. They did with getting my benefits. I have a very messy family trust involved, and I didn't have the money for an attorney. The church had their lawyer intervene, and helped me out. I still don't go to the church, as they just don't reach out back to me while I am sick or depressed. They are too busy for just one individual. I think it would be good if your reached out to your rabbi. (spelling)???
You are not a burden to me, never think that. I at times didn't want to wake up eithor. I joined a group called final exit. It is as the name implies, an organization that backs your right to exit life. If I should get throat cancer, I'm out of here! I won't die from esophagal cancer as my father did. I am very pro active with determining what to do with any condition that would take all joy out of life. I hope you are not to that point fence. There is still much to live for. You still have the grandkids. CPAC is for breathing at night right? Do you have trouble breathing? I do know what depression is, the worst kind. I have a grandson I am not allowed to see. My son in law removed both my daughter and my grandson from my life for two reasons. I would not do what he wanted me to do when he wanted it, money from the trust, and I moved my best friend in with me, a woman. I could no longer take care of this home, and she and I had been friends for years. I am a lesbian to him and sinful. Unfortunatly, that isn't the case. We are not lovers. I sure do have a best friend. These kinds of living arrangements happened alot in the past and were excepted, like two old spinsters. Now it is assumed to always be a sexual relationship. I get back rubs and foot rubs, and count my self lucky. Like I said touch is so important.
You were lucky to travel. You saw much of our planet. I sure would like for you to stick around, and tell me some of your adventures. I also like your sense of humor. I need that humor sometimes, as being abandoned by your family, or shunned is very very painful. I almost checked out over that. So in some ways I really do understand your pain, and the dark places that you go to.
You learned maxwell's equation. The math even looks beautiful. I know know it is Electricity and magnatism, and how they work together. Don't think I won't look that up, I sure will and add to what you taught me. You are the first person I met, to understand the math part. I wish I had learned it too.
You education counts for something fence, you still have something to offer the world. Don't go anywhere, or leave earth until you have to. Let there be just a little light, and maybe you will find some meaning left, even if your heart hurts. Talk to that wife of yours, get re-connected somehow. Keep tapping to me. I got a gazillion questions....talk to you soon. ginnie