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Old 12-18-2012, 01:16 PM #1
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Default no hope

first of all in 2005 I sufferd a severe back injury, since that time I have had 2 open back surgery's the last one was a tripal spinal fusion in 2005. I cannot do even basic daily chores let alone work. I have been fighting for diability for 4 years now. I had my remand hearing in front of the same judge 2 weeks ago, and we are waiting for the desicion. Social security sent me to a independent medical exam before my hearing. The doctor seen me for no more than 4 min. ask me a couple basic questions, did a very, very brief exam. never ask me about my surgery's or any treatment ai recieved, I don't think he knew about my surgery's and he did not have any of my medical records. That piece of **** doctor said I could basiclly do anything. I told him I could not even tie my own shoes, and he stated in his report THAT I COULD CRAWL. So with that and the fact that htis judge has a 7% approval rating, I don't have much hope. The judge is suppose to give more weight to my doctor, who is very much on my side along with a physical therapist. For more than 2 years my doctor has been treating me for severe depression. We have tryed all kinds of meds. none with much help. I am on effexor now and we just raised the dose. I have moments if complete dispair, almost wanting to end it all dispair. On top of it all its Christmas time and we have absolutly no money for our 2 kids and 2 grandbaby's. I know there are alot of people with much bigger problems on here. But I am almost done.
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Old 12-19-2012, 02:24 PM #2
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Bretd, I'm so sorry. I don't understand the idiots who sit in judgment of people who are in pain and despair. If they had to suffer for just one hour what we put up with 24/7, they wouldn't be so quick to deny us what we have coming to us! It infuriates me when I see people denied that should obviously be granted disability! I just don't understand the system.

I pray that you'll be approved, and I WILL keep you in my prayers. Please keep us informed. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee
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recovering alcoholic, sober since 7-29-93;severe depression; 2 open spinal surgeries; severe sciatica since 1986; epidurals; trigger points; myelograms; Rhizotomy; Racz procedure; spinal cord stimulator implant (and later removal); morphine pump trial (didn't work);now inoperable; lumpectomy; radiation; breast cancer survivor; heart attack; fibromyalgia; on disability.



Often the test of courage is not to die, but to live..
.................................................. ...............Orestes
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bretd (12-28-2012), Rrae (12-23-2012)
Old 12-20-2012, 01:49 AM #3
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Default Bretd.....

I completely understand feeling despair to the degree you are speaking of. Especially this time of year and the pressure that society puts on us that we must buy 'things' for our family and friends. We used to live pretty comfortably financially, but I've since lost my job and am on the road to disability. Money is not there anymore, just the basics. My boys are old enuf to understand things and I've explained beforehand that Christmas won't be full of presents and money in their stockings. I have a 2 yr old grandson who I cherish.

Now, especially with all the bizarre things going on in the news and rumors of the world ending yadda yadda yadda.....I've begun to realize that nothing else really matters. Having the basics to get by and having healthy children and my husband and sticking together as a family - that's what really matters.
Some of the most simple things can make for a gift that will last a lifetime.
Framed pictures of a good memory can mean much more than a store-bought toy that will probably fall apart next week. Something handmade from Grampa can be something to cherish. Taking the kids to look at christmas lights and songs, laughter, etc make for wonderful memories. Making cookies with the kids....or a gingerbread house.

Here I am babbling . I just wanted to say to you that my heart goes out to you and I understand some of your struggles, because I struggle with some of the same.
Please don't let the 'pressures' of the outside world weigh heavy on you. I do too. We're only human. But, an encouraging word can go a long way.
It's good that we have this place to come to where people really understand.

Sometimes when I have my medication doses changed, I become vulnerable to overwhelming feelings and anxiety. Please don't let that dark cloud weigh heavy on you. From one who suffers depression to another, take each day as an opportunity. Instead of seeing everything in one lump sum, be the best you can be.....just for today.

Someone who cares...
Rae
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Old 12-20-2012, 10:15 AM #4
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Originally Posted by Rrae View Post
I completely understand feeling despair to the degree you are speaking of. Especially this time of year and the pressure that society puts on us that we must buy 'things' for our family and friends. We used to live pretty comfortably financially, but I've since lost my job and am on the road to disability. Money is not there anymore, just the basics. My boys are old enuf to understand things and I've explained beforehand that Christmas won't be full of presents and money in their stockings. I have a 2 yr old grandson who I cherish.

Now, especially with all the bizarre things going on in the news and rumors of the world ending yadda yadda yadda.....I've begun to realize that nothing else really matters. Having the basics to get by and having healthy children and my husband and sticking together as a family - that's what really matters.
Some of the most simple things can make for a gift that will last a lifetime.
Framed pictures of a good memory can mean much more than a store-bought toy that will probably fall apart next week. Something handmade from Grampa can be something to cherish. Taking the kids to look at christmas lights and songs, laughter, etc make for wonderful memories. Making cookies with the kids....or a gingerbread house.

Here I am babbling . I just wanted to say to you that my heart goes out to you and I understand some of your struggles, because I struggle with some of the same.
Please don't let the 'pressures' of the outside world weigh heavy on you. I do too. We're only human. But, an encouraging word can go a long way.
It's good that we have this place to come to where people really understand.

Sometimes when I have my medication doses changed, I become vulnerable to overwhelming feelings and anxiety. Please don't let that dark cloud weigh heavy on you. From one who suffers depression to another, take each day as an opportunity. Instead of seeing everything in one lump sum, be the best you can be.....just for today.

Someone who cares...
Rae
I do love my family to death, and these 2 grandbaby boys are a true blessing. I never had any children of my own. My wife and I got together when her kids were 4 and 14. and they are now 13 and 23. But to watch these baby's grow up is wonderful. I can fill my days with love for all of them, but that still does'nt pay my house payment, or elc. or gas. thank you for the kind words.
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Old 12-20-2012, 08:30 PM #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bretd View Post
first of all in 2005 I sufferd a severe back injury, since that time I have had 2 open back surgery's the last one was a tripal spinal fusion in 2005. I cannot do even basic daily chores let alone work. I have been fighting for diability for 4 years now. I had my remand hearing in front of the same judge 2 weeks ago, and we are waiting for the desicion. Social security sent me to a independent medical exam before my hearing. The doctor seen me for no more than 4 min. ask me a couple basic questions, did a very, very brief exam. never ask me about my surgery's or any treatment ai recieved, I don't think he knew about my surgery's and he did not have any of my medical records. That piece of **** doctor said I could basiclly do anything. I told him I could not even tie my own shoes, and he stated in his report THAT I COULD CRAWL. So with that and the fact that htis judge has a 7% approval rating, I don't have much hope. The judge is suppose to give more weight to my doctor, who is very much on my side along with a physical therapist. For more than 2 years my doctor has been treating me for severe depression. We have tryed all kinds of meds. none with much help. I am on effexor now and we just raised the dose. I have moments if complete dispair, almost wanting to end it all dispair. On top of it all its Christmas time and we have absolutly no money for our 2 kids and 2 grandbaby's. I know there are alot of people with much bigger problems on here. But I am almost done.
hey bretd,its me again "don1956"just wanted to let you know I still got your back.it to was were you are.went through the same thing..all of it.our friend "Ginnie"can attest to that..I had trouble day to day just trying to make myself want to "live".it was a struggle for me.just like it is for you.thingss now are alittle bit better thank to the folks here..YES! right here on this little forum of ours.there advice and tips helped me thoroughly and not to mention just "being there"
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