[bretd]

first of all in 2005 I sufferd a severe back injury, since that time I have had 2 open back surgery's the last one was a tripal spinal fusion in 2005. I cannot do even basic daily chores let alone work. I have been fighting for diability for 4 years now. I had my remand hearing in front of the same judge 2 weeks ago, and we are waiting for the desicion. Social security sent me to a independent medical exam before my hearing. The doctor seen me for no more than 4 min. ask me a couple basic questions, did a very, very brief exam. never ask me about my surgery's or any treatment ai recieved, I don't think he knew about my surgery's and he did not have any of my medical records. That piece of **** doctor said I could basiclly do anything. I told him I could not even tie my own shoes, and he stated in his report THAT I COULD CRAWL. So with that and the fact that htis judge has a 7% approval rating, I don't have much hope. The judge is suppose to give more weight to my doctor, who is very much on my side along with a physical therapist. For more than 2 years my doctor has been treating me for severe depression. We have tryed all kinds of meds. none with much help. I am on effexor now and we just raised the dose. I have moments if complete dispair, almost wanting to end it all dispair. On top of it all its Christmas time and we have absolutly no money for our 2 kids and 2 grandbaby's. I know there are alot of people with much bigger problems on here. But I am almost done.