Well, summer came to an end. My s.o. and I were able to do... So little.
My leg. It kept us from doing what we wanted. I couldn't hike, bike, or run. These are things we grew up loving to do. Things we still want to do.
His best time he spent this summer was a home up a mountain. His best time this summer, i was unable to attend. To join in on.
He has seen me in more pain anybody should see anybody. He is scared of my leg. Scared I'd hurt it. Bit it on this, step wrong, or sleep wrong.
There have been three major hypotheses to my leg. One is valgus deformity. This has been diagnosed this fall. It isn't texting to the treatment properly.
Three second is lose joint syndrome. The collagen kind. Nearly diagnosed. I can do ask the tests flawlessly. The floor touching, the thumb bending, the finger bending. I can even bend my arms and legs in 'not normal' ways.
The third is arthrosis. This has never been tested. And the doctors want to rule everything else out first.
Treatment had been incredibly slow and for years it has effected me and him so much.
I'm just losing patience. My leg is a burden, and I had to give up so much because of it.
I was getting trained to be a prima. I was in kick boxing. I was hiking, and swimming and walking and running. All this I had to say goodbye to. Ask this I still cannot do almost eight years later.
It's hard. Hardest to see how he feels about it. Hardest to see how it effected him.
I come seeking some comfort. I find it hard to reassure myself.