Dave,
Please don't ever feel you have to be only upbeat; we need one another. It is a compliment to those of us who have the privilege of knowing you that you would allow us in at a time like this.

I have taken Ambin CR every night for the past few years. I, at least for a few hours, can escape the 24/7 pain. We do what we need to get through.

Unfortunately missing your infusion is compounded by the terrible mixed emotions you are going through by being left without time to make other arrangements. When additional pain and suffering is the outcome; no time for pettiness. Shame on her.

I hope you are able to do what you need to do to calm your pain and anxiety. Please lean on us. We're here for one another.


Gerry

to you too Eva.


Gerry

Everything I just wrote
Just disappeared
Guessing it wasn't meant to be
But I will be clear I do not want to be on this earth
if my pain is at the point of no return
What the *****
I have given my all
I must not be 100% faithful
I want no more
I too am sick
My own children have not the same time you need
SO WE CAN LIVE SOMEWHAT OF A *ucking PAIN FREE LIFE
my hands woke me the blank up
And now I feel all the *ucking pain
Typing hurts
Breathing hurts (back)
My overdoing simple things
I HATE IT FATHER
I HATE IT
I need to feel you Father
We suffer as your Son
With pain in different ways
What a terrible way to think
Forgive me
I am lonely
Am thinking of you Dave
And the many of the ones like us
Love
Me

Dear Eva,

Nothing is ever at the 'point of no return'. There always has to be Hope - even for those like us. There is always Faith.

My breathing hurts too, the fall Thursday caused deep damage to my ribs. I somehow managed to roll onto them last night, and got stuck with the pain and weakness for nearly an hour. My double vision is worsening, making everything close up look foggy now. And the pain since my missed Infusion I don't want to discuss. I am here alone for 10 days, Daughter has gone away and Ex has gone to her Mother's. The peace is good, but I cannot Cope alone.

There are many reasons for you to be here, despite the pain and suffering. It is simply unfair that you are burdened with so many issues all at the same time. It is at this time of greatest adversity that we must dig deeper and stay strong. Is there no cream, massage techniques, soaking that can help your hands at all?

Keep turning to the Saviour for guidance, keep coming to us for support. You are worth the whole World, there are better treatments and better days ahead. There is always calm after a storm.

Dave.

Pray we don't let pain define who we are. One thing I do know for sure; we are here for a reason; just aren't able to see the whole picture. One day we will.



Gerry

My daughter walk out in the middle of the night sometime leaving her daughter to walk in my room looking for her
My friends I a fried
I don't know anymore
I'm burned out
What do I do
Me

Dear Eva,

You really are sorely tested when it is yourself who needs the support. Perhaps it is time to concentrate on giving love to your Granddaughter above all others. There is only so much you can be expected to do.

Look after yourself and those who are deserving of your Love. You know you have the Love and support of everyone here with your physical, mental and emotional trials.

Dave.

and for that i thank you all
i cannot express the inner pain
she walked out sometime in the early morning hours
and says sorry i won't do it again
that my friend will never be the case
BUT FOR EVA I KEEP MYSELF AROUND
HOW CAN SHE WALK OUT ON HER CHILD
GIVING HER CORISSA'S ROOM SO MOTHER AND DAUGHTER
CAN CUDDLE
MY GRANDDAUGHTER CAME IN MY ROOM AT 4:OO IN THE MORNING CRYING WHERE IS MOMMY
I SWOOPED HER UP PUT HER IN BED WITH ME AND CORISSA
SHE ASKED TO HOLD HER HAND
SHE HELD ON SO TIGHTLY SHE WOULD SHAKE
AND ALL I COULD TELL HER
mimma and titi (corissa) will Never leave you
she says i know mimma
then asked why was mommy so sneaky
i am sooooooooooooooooo saaaaaaaaaaaaaad
i am tired of the disappointed
you know where i want to be
not yet
and when i'm gone
that will be it
i cannot feel anything but
sadness
pain
abandoned
tired
throwing in the towel
where is my Faith
what happened to it
me

Dear Eva,

You know it will happen again, if not, you will always fear it - but as you say:

BUT FOR EVA I KEEP MYSELF AROUND

That is reason enough for everything. Imagine how safe she felt, finally clutching your hand so early in the morning.

THERE is your Faith, the faith your Granddaughter shows in you, glowing and burning in the Darkness to burst forth as your Faith in The Lord.

You know it is stronger than any setback.

Dave.

Children see it all don't they Eva ? So smart and yet so young. I see it in my grandchildren all the time.....that extra sense they have that hasn't been taken from them yet....they know.

And God Love Her she needs your love and physical presence. So glad you are there for that sweet child.

And then we all sing......

Jesus loves the little children...all the children of the world.....red and yellow, black and white they are precious in his sight....Jesus loves the little children of the world

Ta Da !!!

Lots of warm hugs for you tonight my friend......

Debi from Georgia