Eva,

I know the hurt. When my son was in his late teens, he decided to live with his father and his wife. I did let him know how much I loved him and will always be there for him. He found for himself; things were not that great; but sometimes we have to "let go". My son is the "baby" and will always be my baby. Growing pains are difficult for all concerned.

He is an adult now. We have a wonderful relationship, including the relationship with his wife and my grandson.

As far as the clothing goes, even if Corissa is living with you, she might just put her things in a bag/purse and change at or before getting to school.

Even if Little Eva's mother wants to move back; Little Eva needs her grandmother. She will always love you. She will have wonderful loving memories of her grandmother.



Gerry

Dear Eva,

Sorry I have been away for a couple of days - family operations messed me up.


Your Daughter will learn soon enough that your Ex considers her an inconvenience if he cannot even pick her up from Counselling. The novelty will wear thin when the attitude starts - and it will, behaviour so ingrained does not change overnight.

As to her 'hook ups', deceitful and possibly dangerous if she met him online. You can only hope she knows him in the Real World, through a friend? I do not know what to suggest except warn your Ex in no uncertain terms, make him understand the seriousness of the situation and the potential consequences.

Little Eva's Mother moving in? From now on make sure all your decisions are in your best interests. You do not need anything negative in your life.

Dave.

in my own home
me
once self sufficient
have become a burden
my sickness
my problem
and it just gets worse
as Time goes on
father how do i go on
there is so much unnecessary
crap going on
hurting
hurting just so badly
i can't stand myself
despair
no job
no life
no purpose
why am i so ungrateful
who do i think i am
so many worse off than myself
i can't pull out of myself
i ache so badly physically
i ache even more so spiritually
i have limits to so many things today
just to take care of myself
used to be soothing
don't want to talk about it
it upsets me so
i never wore make-up
was never without my lipstick
i have disappeared faded into the back somewhere
we make choices
and to be making choices for the future is gloomy
to think all this
for what
i cannot take care of myself anymore
i have brought with my illness
unhappiness
and they are sick of me
i am the reason for much of the unhappiness
i don't know anymore
i just don't want to go on
me

in my own home
me
once self sufficient
have become a burden
my sickness
my problem
and it just gets worse
as Time goes on
Father how do i go on
there is so much unnecessary
crap going on
hurting
hurting just so badly
i can't stand myself
despair
no job
no life
no purpose
why am i so ungrateful
who do i think i am
so many worse off than myself
i can't pull out of myself
i ache so badly physically
i ache even more so spiritually
i have limits to so many things today
just to take care of myself
used to be soothing
don't want to talk about it
it upsets me so
i never wore make-up
was never without my lipstick
i have disappeared faded into the back somewhere
we make choices
and to be making choices for the future is gloomy
to think all this
for what
i cannot take care of myself anymore
i have brought with my illness
unhappiness
and they are sick of me
i am the reason for much of the unhappiness
i don't know anymore
i just don't want to go on
me

Dear Eva,

I know what it's like to feel like a burden. I have been unable to do so many things for myself for so many years, and since the double vision hit I have had to be driven everywhere, like a child.

Yet, despite all this, my Ex and my Daughter would be infinitely worse off without me here. My presence and what I CAN offer more than make up for what I lack, or so I am told. On Good days I like to believe this.

So, know that your own opinion of yourself is not as important as how others see you. In the Real World your family are all quick to turn to you first at the first hint of a problem, and here we all care about you deeply. This counts for everything.

Take an hour and do something nice for yourself. Get dressed in your finest clothes, pop out for coffee, or just call at your Church for a chat with Him. Everything will be a little easier.

Dave.

I have been bed ridden for days
My whole being pushed to limits
I cannot do anymore
Yet it doesn't happen on its own

I had a talk with the babies mother to come
and do her laundry
Never happened
Never happened
She didn't feel like it
Changed my plans for the
selfish one
The three of them together
I make no more changes for her
Enough
I am down and out body and soul
I know you care and love in return
All seems over
Love
Me

Eva,
The depression only adds to being bedridden. It's, at times almost seems impossible. As Dave suggested and I know from my own experience he is right.

I force myself to try to put on eyebrows (only have partial so kinda draw a finish to them). Then, add a little blush on my cheeks starting from mid ear to balls of cheeks. After that, do a little finishing up with hair and a little hairspray.
I feel better already; not frightened when I look in the mirror.

Go to meeting..... or even try a counter at a restaurant for coffee and a little whatever. Frequently the counter person will strike up conversation. If you often go at same time, you'll get to know fellow people at counter as well as the usual counter person.

Eva; please don't give up; you can do it...push, push, push; don't let anyone hold you down; especially yourself. Also, for a little while you won't focus on the pain. Please try!!!!!!!

You know I speak from experience. You know I have to fight the days when I just want to stay under the blankets and hide, all the while hoping, praying the pain will at least lessen. Then....blankets push back and force myself out of the bed. Of course, I do have a cup of coffee to help start the ritual of another day. For now....there's is another day.

Love & Prayers,


Gerry

My dear Gerry
I mean I am bed ridden because of all the
work I have done around the house while
everything else was and is still going on
Cleaning the floors rearranging closets
scrubbing and scouring the tubs and toilet bowls
My hands never replenished in its sick way
putting up the privacy wrap on the terrace
My body a true cookie crumbling
I will find a way to post my mylogram
My entire spine is deteriorating
as many others do
It just revealed so much
RSD and neuropathy my hands and feet
keep me awake for the past two weeks
The change in weather
My body feels so much pain

Everything you write me you understand I know
I need human contact
With the world

Gerry I cannot stand on my feet on the morning
The most sleep I have been getting is four hours at best
Do I have the ability to get up to relieve myself
without pain
the fibromyalgia on my whole right side of my
back burns like a blank
The constant tingling not the good feeling
but the kind I want to scratch my skin with
I depressed being depressed I cannot get out
for I am trying to recuperate
Just not happening quick enough
And then I think
What the hell am I doing to myself
Only things do not get done by themselves
You know
The depression is there
It's the crying I'm sick and tired of
The crying has got to go
I just cannot stop
Hanging on
And talking to God and Eva or Corissa
and this community is what I have
I know you care what happens to us
It is just so tiring
My mental state is at stake
Hoping you are well and taken care of
I am blessed to have very special persons
here
Love
Me

Thinking of you.

Dear Eva,

Being trapped by the pain our bodies inflict on us is different from being trapped by Mood. But you know the Mood makes the pains worse.

In your situation you HAVE to pace yourself, no more bursts of cleaning the whole house! Take your time, do a LITTLE to keep things ticking over while you regain what strength you have.

My original advice stands about doing something nice for yourself, maybe in a few days. Look forward to it with anticipation until then. In the mean time, lighthearted/comedy tv and radio shows are recommended to lift your spirits.

…And always come here for love and support.

Dave.