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09-07-2017, 10:12 PM | #531 | ||
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Magnate
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Quote:
Our Heavenly Father knows how much you are needed. You have been given a heavy cross to bear. Pray He will give you the strength and courage to cope with all you are going through. Gerry |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (09-08-2017), PamelaJune (09-08-2017), PurpleFoot721 (09-09-2017), RSD ME (09-08-2017) |
09-08-2017, 02:18 AM | #532 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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It is 2:45 in the morning
Thank you dear friend I lay in the hospital bed Holding me overnight as my pressure is out of control Her first day started and after dropping her off for first day Sending her off with love Telling her I will never leave you oh how sad she was to hear Corissa tell her she's not coming back was just to much I layed a good hoping it will have meant something and she will see the light To watch how my family is reacting is just to difficult to talk about I have done the best I could And for my grand baby to go through this all because of the young adult out of control behavior X-ray cat scan and blood work all good It's my pressure that won't stabilize 7:00 in the evening given the pill under my tongue as pressure was 189/152 This is what I fear And not having any control over this body I never thought it would get this bad But it has It has Can't wait to see my granddaughter and apologize to her She knew something was wrong as I was getting her ready And talking to her and to hear her tears for fear I won't be home Just makes it that much harder I don't know what else to do anymore All for what I ask my Heavenly Father to help this family Help us through this Keep me around for I am needed in this babies life Not to mention all my family But I can't do it anymore It's gotten so out of control It is so out of my control Not that it ever was but I'm sure you all get the picture It was a scary feeling Belching my jawline The weighted feeling I couldn't get rid of The lump that is still in my throat Don't let me go Don't let me go We said the Lord's Prayer and Hail Mary as she cried for me Oh dear Father Heal me Heal this family Don't let me go when she now too needs me This all because I couldn't keep it all together Corissa I pray will find her way home Till then I have to get myself together For the sake of this little one who is innocent and loves her titti Her BFF I am crushed Just crushed And my fears have brought me to this point Not a place I want to be Lost in the abyss Broken into pieces And all I can do is pray Pray that all will be fine Me
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09-08-2017, 06:33 AM | #533 | |||
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Senior Member
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Dear Eva, you and your loved ones are in my thoughts and prayers. I pray your BP is bought under control and you can find the strength to let your fears go free. Use the faith in yourself and our higher power to guide your thoughts to peaceful moments, I can't tell you it will all be ok, but I can tell you I believe in you and your ability to find the strength to be a patient in that hospital bed. You will remain in my thoughts and prayers and I'll check in tomorrow.
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I can still remember what life was like before pain became my life long companion |
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09-09-2017, 03:09 PM | #534 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Still not well as my pressure is not stable
Between the physical pain and mental stress I want to crawl under a rock I must have a nuclear stress test Another doctor I'm sick of it all I so sick of it all It is deemed arrhythmia Sick of it all
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someone who cares eva |
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09-09-2017, 10:43 PM | #535 | |||
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Senior Member
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Oh gosh, I don't even know what a nuclear stress test is? Assume it involves an injection and imaging after exertion? But that sounds cruel and unusual to me. I know they subjected my mum to multiple (more than 5) nuclear testing & imaging post her csf leak, she came through them ok. You remain in my prayers and I'll have to go google. Please try to remain calm Eva, my dad would say don't sweat the small stuff, worry not over what you have no control.
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I can still remember what life was like before pain became my life long companion |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PurpleFoot721 (09-10-2017), RSD ME (09-10-2017) |
09-09-2017, 10:47 PM | #536 | ||
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Magnate
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Quote:
Eva, Corissa; what can I say? If you get a chance, please remind her how much I care about her. She is "special", there is just something I felt when speaking with her. She has the whole world before her. Wish we could get through to her. Please give her my love. You have my email address if Corissa would like to correspond with me. I would keep whatever she would say/write in "confidence". Praying..... Gerry |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (09-10-2017), PamelaJune (09-09-2017), PurpleFoot721 (09-10-2017), RSD ME (09-10-2017) |
09-10-2017, 12:24 AM | #537 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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I have my arms wrapped around you with great love respect and appreciation
I most certainly will She is special Beautiful Smart Has empathy for all but herself She asked me just yesterday Mommy am I beautiful I answered I wish you could see what I do Your beauty is so powerful Find it See it Don't let it go Yes you are not just beautiful But stunning Inside and out She is Gerry She really is Hoping she gets to love herself and never lets go She say Mom there is no place like home And I know how hard you love And I will never let go of that I have to go I have to figure some things outside on my own And know I have your love to hold on to Never forget You did nothing wrong Don't go blaming yourself I have the best mom anyone could ever hope for You are real and beautiful too Thank you momma I will return I just have to do this I told her I will never give up on you Never All of you suffer depression And it's not your fault Just know when your ready There is help And I will always be ready to help you get that help Please be careful about the choices you make as you find what I see I can't wait to tell her you are asking about her Yes I can't wait With all my heart Thank you You have my word I will tell her Love Me
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09-10-2017, 12:40 AM | #538 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Never will I let go
And keeping God in my being Depression that riddles this entire family Never will I give up till my dying day With hope and prayer I go through what I am Not alone The aloneness I fell I'm praying will pass As Heavenly Father has been watching and waiting for me to let go and trust him COMPLETELY to my dear friends who have followed my life story Thank you for your support as I too hope to give back what I receive Thank you At this very difficult time Watching my babies go through this life of depression May they find persons to lift them when they too feel they cannot go on Depression kills all that is good I cannot allow it to kill me Trying my very best Trying Thank you all Me My son called And tells me Mom No matter how many times I may be a jerk and mean to you I'm sorry Forgive me I need you in my life Please take care of you For when that day comes Know I love you and need you around as long as possible And told him I would do my very best for they be my all and am sad to see you all suffering I will do my best We spoke for three hours and did not want to get off the phone Corissa has been speaking with her brother and he said he wants to be the brother he hasn't been It is a beautiful thing when they reach out for one another It's a beautiful thing
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09-10-2017, 12:43 AM | #539 | |||
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Senior Member
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Eva, my tears have been dry this week, they've just returned in a vengeance reading this passage. My heart is breaking for you and yours, I pray Corissa gets to hear you have people across the world who know her through your passages and we know she is more than just another pretty girl looking to find herself.
Life is not easy, today's world offers so much more influence than what it did in our day. Millennials' lives are forever impacted by this social media intrusion on the younger members in our circle of influence, they who have encountered parental separation, abuse, death and so much more. Not so dissimilar to what we encountered but somehow made worse by the "normality" of it social media has given it. It's as if it's inappropriate to grieve for what's gone wrong or hurt in their lives & the only appropriate approach is to act out, turn to alcohol or drugs. I'm not oblivious to the obvious - so did many of us, or our loved partners but we knew in our hearts it was wrong. The wrong friends who aren't really friends but just people they've met in passing or through someone who knows someone and are therefore merely passing acquaintances (if even that) on social media just seem to encourage the opposite of what we would council. Sending you lots of virtual hugs, know you and your loved ones remain in my thoughts In another passage I will tell you more of the young lodger we now have living with us, suicidal our first day back from holiday & where I had to drive out to fetch her back as the cafe owner phoned me to say I've got her by her jacket, how quick can you get here, she's incoherent but intent on throwing herself into the traffic, yours is the last number she phoned so I've got you, can you help.... Quote:
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I can still remember what life was like before pain became my life long companion Last edited by PamelaJune; 09-10-2017 at 01:10 AM. |
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09-10-2017, 01:09 AM | #540 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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And you certainly heard me You are so on point It is a different world And we know it to be true Retuning my love and hugs to you and yours Me
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