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01-19-2018, 07:44 AM | #681 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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These are some that I got together
The family picture you will see Corissa at 18 months She will be turning 20 in April and that is my mother of course my children are adults and my boy was going throug his changes he is so handsome today looks like my father The pick of Eva and of myself was a day I took them bowling just last month You can see the pain on my face it was a bad day
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01-19-2018, 07:47 AM | #682 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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The last few pictures I was not able to upload.
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (01-19-2018), PamelaJune (01-19-2018) |
01-19-2018, 07:50 AM | #683 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Had to find the right picture of my hand
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (01-19-2018), PamelaJune (01-20-2018) |
01-19-2018, 11:32 PM | #684 | ||
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Magnate
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Quote:
Thanks for posting the pictures. Been looking forward to updated photos of "Little Eva". She sure is a beauty.... Gerry |
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01-20-2018, 07:31 PM | #685 | |||
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Thank you for sharing Gerry, many of us had parents who survived the Great Depression, WW1 or WW11. My mum had a harsh childhood with a very strict father who once beat my aunt so badly she had an asthma attack & the ambulance was called, an unwell mother who was regularly hospitalised, living & moving often from 1 rental to another, to finally settling in a 1brm apartment on the 1st floor with both sisters (mum & aunt) sleeping on a verandah open to the elements all year round and accessed only by walking through their parents bedroom. With nana’s poor health money was extremely tight.
Gerry, mothers didn’t have much to go on for parenting advice in the 19th century, much of what was written was aimed at being a “good wife” with pithy statements like “children seen and not heard”... What we experience in our childhood influences our actions towards those we care for. Don’t chastise yourself too much, I’m sure you did what you thought was best for your son As an adult now I can see clearly how mums efforts at parenting were defined by her own childhood experiences; those combined with her insecurities, pettiness & keeping up appearances led to many poor and ill thought out choices. But with a greater understanding of her childhood experiences I am able to forgive her. Quote:
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01-20-2018, 11:12 PM | #686 | ||
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Magnate
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Quote:
Pam, I remember my mother telling me how her mother cared and loved her sister, who was younger than her, more. She told me how often her brother would fight/hit her. Also, her mother/my grandmother (who my only memories of her bedridden with terrible Parkinson's) blamed her for the death of her baby brother because she had left a window open and he got sick with a cold/flu and died. She was just a child herself. We all carry our crosses. Her hurt with my Dad's issues was not easy for her to deal with. Unfortunately, she wanted me to not have anything to do with him; especially after I became an adult/married with an apartment for him to visit me. I tried to explain to her I did not like what he did but he was my father and I loved him. He never forgot a birthday for me or my children. I always made sure when my children were young they did not know about how I avoided telling her when I/we did see him. I didn't think they needed that burden too. I would just not bring them with me to visit with her for a few weeks in the hope they would forget to mention seeing him. Never told them "don't tell grandma". Actually Pam, my son is the baby boy I had hope for after having two girls. My eldest daughter would often mention how he could get away with things she never could. The girls kiddingly referred to him as "Baby Jesus". The one thing I did learn from my mother's "conditional love" was to always show my children "unconditional love". My reward for that is I receive it back from them "l0 fold"..... I loved my mother very much and by trying to understand what she was dealing with helped me not to hold grudges and forgiveness was always there. A little extra prayers helped as well. I am glad with greater understanding of your mum's childhood experiences, you are able to forgive her. |
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01-22-2018, 06:57 AM | #687 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Spirit
Sat in the car for four hours with my granddaughter So my child could take her placement test To get her diploma is what is more important than her getting a job My body still hasn’t recouped from sitting for so lone Eva had her dvd I had mine Ran into a retired POLICE OFFICER He was interested in me very much this when Corissa was two known him for four decades school time Would have taken me on with Corissa at the time Again No trust Had convinced him to date his older girlfriend Said he would never marry after his divorce Guess what He married her There was just NO spark Anyhow my hand hurt so badly I having a hard time typing The throbbing in each finger as they tingle My bones in joints with pain have increased my right chest behind my balloon under the armpit hurts Having to go to a slew of doctors Afraid I am My mind is all over the place Can’t put my finger on it But I don’t think I want to know Getting my granddaughter ready It’s as if it just never stopped And it hasn’t that’s the freaky fact How much longer can my body go through To hold a pen or pencil A spoon knife silverware hurts to hold My mind all over the place Everyone calling me with their problems And I just listen Listen And listen I have but this place to come to Falling to pieces Heavenly Father keep my Spirit alive In Jesus name Amen Me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (01-22-2018), RSD ME (01-22-2018) |
01-22-2018, 06:58 AM | #688 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Spirit
Sat in the car for four hours with my granddaughter So my child could take her placement test To get her diploma is what is more important than her getting a job My body still hasn’t recouped from sitting for so lone Eva had her dvd I had mine Ran into a retired POLICE OFFICER He was interested in me very much this when Corissa was two known him for four decades school time Would have taken me on with Corissa at the time Again No trust Had convinced him to date his older girlfriend Said he would never marry after his divorce Guess what He married her There was just NO spark Anyhow my hand hurt so badly I having a hard time typing The throbbing in each finger as they tingle My bones in joints with pain have increased my right chest behind my balloon under the armpit hurts Having to go to a slew of doctors Afraid I am My mind is all over the place Can’t put my finger on it But I don’t think I want to know Getting my granddaughter ready It’s as if it just never stopped And it hasn’t that’s the freaky fact How much longer can my body go through To hold a pen or pencil A spoon knife silverware hurts to hold My mind all over the place Everyone calling me with their problems And I just listen Listen And listen I have but this place to come to Falling to pieces Heavenly Father keep my Spirit alive In Jesus name Amen Me She found her way back to school Just the beginning for her This makes me happy
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01-23-2018, 07:00 AM | #689 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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A dream
A very disturbing dream Not much remembered But lost of blood Death Murder of some kind DonÂ’t know if I was the murder Disturbing for certain As it warms my spirit seems to have lifted just a tad Is it that powerful Just donÂ’t want to feel like I do Oh how easy it is for my children to say Mom if you feel that badly you should see a doctor Really Really ItÂ’s been something I have done throughout my lifetime And never has there been a breakthrough Never As a matter of fact my last psychotherapist for 7 years in the end was not helpful at all Denying me deplin something in his opinion as he says dubiousin his opinion I asked let me be the judge of that Retired Gone he is Good riddance As he did not listen to me if all the antidepressants he prescribed And having to go through the withdrawals Not him Me My mind and body This depression is IÂ’m sure a result of environmental situational and family genetic Having the idea that spring something short lived Sometimes donÂ’t even experience it Is enough to change how this mind works Doctors they fit the most of my experience and but for the few who are on my train donÂ’t listen Really They just donÂ’t listen Physically my body is so broken The rain is coming down this morning I must have slep wrong My surgical site pinches with piercingpain depending hitch way I move it So after dropping my granddaughter to school And returning home IÂ’m going back into bed Hands and feet OOC All around me are doing As they have called upon me when crap hit their fan And I am not even a thought Anyone Anybody A Anything I can do for you Just to hear them words would be appreciated Not the case Go to the doctor Well like I said No monies to fall back on Giving it to my family with the promise of returning it will never happen And the copay was 15.00 dollars up now 25.00 way to much for this cookie They will be spread far apart ThatÂ’s just nuts Depression always with me in one form or another But holding on to Heavenly Father Brush myself off And one foot in front of the other Me
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01-24-2018, 05:58 AM | #690 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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I can’t even run from it
As it visits me in my sleep Oh to be woken up like that just *ucks And not able to return back to sleep even worse So up early Got Eva’s lunch ready Sending it off with a note in her bag everyday Did the same for my children She is a hugger I get so many warm hugs from her It would be something if it be the magic potion Bottle it up and a dab when feeling like this person does Honestly the love that emanates for her being is awesome stuff We count the dogs we see on our ride to and from school Mother failed to call her This is how I know she call me to pick a fight Will not entertain it Ever No contact No desire May this too pass Me
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