Originally Posted by EnglishDave

If I had but one smile
Left in my life.
I would wish it upon
You.

Originally Posted by eva5667faliure

that is one of the nicest things iv'e ever read beautiful
just beautiful
me

Originally Posted by eva5667faliure

Dear Gerry

January 12th 2012 is my anniversary date
you have been following
i had to change because of the meds my shrink had me on
it did not work with the prozac he put me on lexepo put me in the state i am unable to shake off the desire to go home
It has zero to do with my children
even with all emotional pain inflicted
by my son
never a thought i wish i hadn't had children
it was time to come off of the tamoxifen
and a additional 5years on the new drug
Femera
i have been put on it for about 6 years
and it is this drug that made nausea a all day thing
he sweats are back
oh how i remember those nights changing my pj 2-3 times a night
there is a constant discharge
sometimes it has a hue of pink to it
i will see Mark my Oncologist nest week
i am going to ask him if i could go back on tamoxifen
right now i am on
morning
60mg oxycontin pain twice a day
4mg zanaflex muscle relaxer three times a day
1mg xanax anxiety twice a day
2.5mg femera once a day
100 zoloft once a day
5mg oxycodone once a day break thru

taken with hope for some help

a miracle is what i'm hoping for
in any form that keeps me HAPPY
PLEASE SOME HAPPINESS

I pray that your Christmas was
everything you hoped for

love
us

Originally Posted by eva5667faliure

how have you been dealing with
the ever caring devil that gets to
screw with me quite a bit
for a very long time
and it baffles me that God will
allow him to screw with me for so long
not months
most my life
like i written in the past
a gray cloud over my family

i am ever so sorry you are bed ridden
that makes me sad
there is so much laundry
a sixteen year old who is the laziest
of all my children
and in puts a strain on our relationship
things that are expected especially in
the common areas
this is a job in itself

do you have a loved one that cares and listens (STILL)
as we go through what we do

my eldest daughter Saraeve my angel
expressed how angry she is at my illness
this from a woman whose life was cut at the knees @ 23
she was kicking butt
had to change her career
she is a recognized poet
and a publishing company
will be publishing a "BOOK"
that's is right a book
how awesome is that
a epileptic
2 brain surgeries
removal of part of her occipital lobe
removed
the trade off permanent blindness
10 years of depression
as she still suffers
it was not successful
and now has a VNS implant in her chest area

she too suffers
clinical depression
i have four children
and a grand mama
i'm called mimma

i hope your funk
leaves you in one breath

dear Lord
let debi and myself
feel some relief
in Jesus name
thank you for being a friend
and has made me understand
she too is in a awful funk
sending you hugs of love
me

Originally Posted by St George 2013

Originally Posted by eva5667faliure

well the years are coming and going
hope to still have the opportunity
for love in my life from a human being
who is open to getting to know and
come to love who i am
in Jesus name
who can make anything happen

the happiness of my children
priority

yet i don't want to be forgotten