the pain so bad last night
my hands i speak of
was unbearable
the water works not making
anything feel better
a reminder of my decline
something i don't want to know
i am dropping most everything
eventually
in my day i'd say 50 drops of
whatever might be in my hands
eventually falls
i could take meds such as Lyrica
it was one of several we tried for my neurological
damage and problems with the side effects
deadly
blisters in my mouth heart palpation
and i do remember my hands and feet
were pain free magic number was 4 tablets
i forget how many mg
i will not experiment anymore
and to read all the problems
people have coming off the drug
i'm glad my body did not have a chance
to become a necessary intake for being on it
for that amount of time
my choice
hence my pain
as i clearly understand i have two independent
things going on
mechanical and neurological
unable to take meds for neurological
cannabis Does help with the burning or cold
but mostly the pain so bad i am itching my hands and feet
so for whatever it's worth i can only do such when available
so many things screwed up
just keep going on
though depression has set in
and has made itself at home in my brain
most know how i type
with an pencil eraser head
my hands
me

It's not your hands that make you drop,
But gravity playing her cruel tricks
As she does when she takes my legs away.

Our medications give us hope,
Then savagely take away -
The side effects causing more pain.

Typing with pencil end, as I type one-fingered,
Sight double and blurred, deleting -
Yet still making the Connection.

The natural Weed brings the relief
That chemicals fail to provide.
God, in His Infinite Wisdom.

Depression in the mind, of the mind,
Fought by love of Grandchildren,
Family, friends - The Lord.

precious
me

Eva,
I well remember the side effects of Lyrica. I was on for it a few weeks. Felt like ants were crawling up and down my legs. I needed off and off I did . As you say, reading all the problems dealing with getting off the Lyrica, I am glad I didn't stay on for long either.

So sorry you are dealing with this awful depression. So many of our meds side effects are "depression". With having to accept the inability to function as previously; it is a prescription for depression worsening.

Love & Prayers,

Gerry

as i know you know it
thank you for being here for me
know you have saved me at times
a wise woman

it has a hold on me
the most depressing birthday ever
another year
big deal
though this pain
this pain
is the one that never leaves
me

On 'Special' Days

The Pain bites harder,
The Mood grows darker,
The World is Hateful.

My Thoughts come warmer,
My Love grows stronger,
The World is Mellow.

Dave.

Eva,

I do agree the 24/7 pain is a constant uninvited interference in our lives. Before bedtime, I pray not to fear starting a new day. I realized fear was one of my biggest enemies. Just knowing what awaits; the spine pain, along with the heavy pailful legs; but the worst is the burning ankles and feet making walking; even with a cane quite unsteady and difficult. Unfortunately when I anticipate the pain; fear take over and it becomes even worse.

Again; one day at a time; hoping for a little laughter. Eva; you remember the "belly" laugh. How often you would include that in your sign off; Praying you will once again experience the laughter.



Gerry

no sense talking about that


when

me

all remains the same
and the explanations
make no sense
i have no desire
to get me going
me