FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Today's Posts |
10-20-2018, 07:59 AM | #30 | |||
|
||||
Grand Magnate
|
But the thought comes and goes
I hang in for what dear life I live to raise my grandchild As my body is failing me I came to the conclusion I am qualified on so many levels Why I wondered Then it dawned on me Am I being as I go through this life and all I have experienced so to give it away Am I Heavenly Fathers helper It is a lonely place to be I have my Heavenly Father my dignity my self respect I go through so much alone Having cry every single day in sadness aloneness You may wonder But she talks of Heavenly Father I do Even in the lonely life for me has to be for a reason I look at the world around me Being who I am Standing my ground Not getting involved with evilness Something that goes on like turning the light switch off to on And if your not part of that evilness your an outsider You don’t belong And that’s okay I’d rather be on this side of the fence So much pain so much sadness and the happiness short lived I give what I know away Just like my sobriety I say to myself how can this body go through so much I keep it to myself I am told I look awesome And I wonder to myself How am I supposed to look I hurts to wash my hair but I do The lipstick I’m never without I struggle to put on as the hairs above my lip is getting thicker as time goes on I must trim it so so my lipstick doesn’t get caught in it Why not wax it you may ask yourself Never did Never will I bleach it I shower Wash my hair I make myself smell good My granddaughter loves to smell me and use my perfume I mix myself I put myself in clean clothes I have come to learn I make things look easy and it’s not It hurts It hurts to put my foot down on the floor and stand Yet I put one foot in front of the other How am I supposed to look Disheveled Smelly Greasy Never Never Four children I have They think because I do I’m just fine Well there are days I’m not Days I hurt so badly mentally and physically Most importantly spiritually We all know what fine means But make no mistake even in the times I need help most it isn’t seen or understood and that’s makes me very sad Very sad as much as I too have to treat my children like a drink or drug hurts but I must So I put it off for another day And keep putting one foot in front of the other As that day will come Not at my hand I have much pain healing There is a little girl who still seeks a mother that still lives But her life is and always has been Regretting having us girls And not knowing her grandchildren or her great granddaughter It’s that little girl that’s been abandoned remembering at the age of two Heavenly Father knows all Right We are given promises should we believe I believe
__________________
someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 10-20-2018 at 08:15 AM. |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Forum | |||
can't take anymore | Traumatic Brain Injury and Post Concussion Syndrome | |||
Not sure anymore | New Member Introductions | |||
just cant do this anymore | Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD and CRPS) | |||
Please help - cant take it anymore! | Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD and CRPS) | |||
What Should I do, I just don't feel wanted anymore | Survivors of Suicide |