There is no single one serious event which has happened to me, but all the smallest things add up to depression.

I try to outline my current status as neatly as possible, I don't want to bore people by writing long story.

I am 30-year-old, being unemployed for three years, not actively (not at all in fact) searching for any employment or education. I live with my parent and I don't pay them any rents or bills so I am still 'surviving' now. I have very bad relationship with my family members. Although we are still living together, they haven't talked to me or spoke a single word to me for a couple of years, and of course, we haven't had meals for a very long time.

I don't have friends. not even ONE. No one has ever called me or sent me a message for at least 5 years, I have left them (or they have left me) completely. I can't keep any friends, not at all. Most of the time we ended up with quarrel or even fight and then our friendship broke.

I have no job, no money, no friends, no marriage, and worst of all, I have lost all the confidence. I have problems talking to any random unimportant people, in the last three years of being unemployed, I don't even have an instant moment of looking for a job interview. I am quite certain that I will fail to market or even make a simple intro of myself to the interviewee.

I try to avoid reading news or facebook, but sometimes when I checked the facebook of my old 'friends' and see they are having such a wonderful life - great job, great marriage, great travel trip, a lot of friends... I don't really feel jealous, and it's actually not a feeling of jealousy, it's a very bad feeling of a very big contrast. I just simply feel so depressed that I don't know how to tell.