[RSD ME]

hi everyone. just had an awful week and feeling sorry for myself. sorry in advance for my whining but i need to vent. i've had two uti's and and viral infection in the past two weeks due to my weakened immune system. on top of that i've tried my best to please everyone in my family even though the effort causes me great pain both physically and mentally from my weakened immune system and illnesses (the worst one being my rsd.) but i keep trying to please everyone and apologize for things that i didn't even do wrong (why i don't know but i've been that way my whole life) low self esteem maybe. anyhow, i just feel so depressed and have gone back to my room, closed the door and just want to be left alone. the reason why is because i feel that sometimes no matter what i do it's never the right way to do it or say it and i just feel like trying my best will never be good enough for anyone in this world. and i'm just so tired of trying today so i'm taking the day off. i wish my family and friends knew how much physical pain it causes me to try as hard as i do to please them. and i wish they knew how much it hurts me emotionally when all i get is constant put downs for the efforts i make to try to make everyone happy. i feel like such a failure sometimes. it's hard enough dealing with a chronic illness with chronic pain without having to feel completely worthless as well. but here i am in my room again feeling like being a hermit is the only thing i'm good at being anymore. sorry if this is too depressing, but i just needed to vent to my friends here on NT who i know understand how i feel. i wish my family would listen to me and understand me like all of you do. some of them do but most of them don't and i just needed to let it out. thanks for listening to my rant. you guys are the best. i hope you're all having a better day then me.

p.s. just fyi i am NOT saying i want to give up on life. i just want some of my family and friends to appreciate the effort i make in trying to make them happy even though i feel constant intense physical pain every single day. i am doing the best that i can.

[EnglishDave]

Hi RSD ME,

Sometimes we just have to withdraw from the endless, insufferable battle of trying to make our families understand what we are going through. It is worse when they constantly dump their minor issues, which are blown up out of all proportion, on us. My adult daughter is 'dying' from a cold at the moment and is incapable of functioning, moaning that she cannot do things. I am being hit by 6-8 hours of Cluster Headache Attacks every day, yet I cannot mention them and there is no modification of behaviour to try to help me.

You vent away, we are always here to listen and understand.

Dave.

[Rain shower]

Hi RSD Me,

Please know you are not along with these feeling. I have had RSD since 2003 and am have the flare of my life after a minor incident in airport this past March on business travel. I have not been able to work since this incident and felt so horrible with pain and depression. I recently found NT forum and feel so thankful for the site.

As hard as we try to do things around the house, it is often not recognized the high price we pay for these activities. Weekends seem more difficult as expectations are high for accomplishing things on our to do lists. I have difficulty helping out with yard work, even the little stuff, but still try and silently push forward as RSD pain increases. It took 3 hours in bed on Sunday to recover from 30 minutes of helping hubby winterized our yard and garden.

Please show self compassion and self love, even if it feel awkward, as you are worthy of this and my thoughts and prayers go out to you right now. I have read your previous post and really hope you can just take a breath before you say sorry next time, especially if the situation was not your making. Stop by envisioning a big red stop sign in your minds eyes before berating yourself also.

I know this too will pass.

rain