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I understand what you're saying, firemonkey.
Good therapiststs (now, how's THAT for spelling? I'll leave it like that for everyone's enjoyment ) do too and they are willing and able to work with people even on the "safer" issue.

Tim,

I understand those thoughts. They're difficult to say the least...to deal with and to manage.

I agree with you about the difference as well, and I think it can make ALL the difference at times.

I agree with the above post in that a good therapist can help so much in understanding and managing those feelings/thoughts.

We're here and listening...

KD

and you write so very well that I feel too stupid to answer you.
~sigh~

I hear that as well and, unfortunately, there are some "not so great" therapists out there.

I think that's when one should interview therapists with specific goals in mind, explaining what it is they are there for and what there are NOT there for just as well. Once that happens, possibly a rapport can be built so that the relationship is a working together one as opposed to one where the therapist "reads" the client and the client in turn feels defensive/misunderstood.

Have you thought about calling several for interviews; one where you're the interviewer?

Again I understand where you're coming from...

KD

I'm definitely familiar with the feelings you describe, FM. My PC has been trying to get me to see a therapist for quite some time now, but I've been afraid it would just be an experience like the ones you had.

It's really a shame that with the system you're in, you have no choice of which therapist to use. It seems to me that this alone would cause the therapists to be less sympathetic and accommodating to your specific personal needs.

I wish I knew some answer to give you which would empower you to do away with your negative feelings. Heck, I wish I knew that answer for myself. All I can say is that I wish you the best in your attempts to solve your dilemma, and hope that you find some measure of true happiness again.