Melody....I read every word! Thank you so much for sharing like that! I appreciate it so very much!
Baby steps eh!! Ok...I will commit to eating a salad everyday...I will not eat red meat.....I will cut down on sweetner..1 rather than 2...also I will not skip any meals!!! I will try this for a week and see what I can do!
I will let you know how it goes...oh...and I promise not to eat M&Ms for dinner just because they are not red meat!!
Thank you again Melody!!

You know, I didn't realize HOW LONG MY POST WAS. But I really did mean every word. There is my life, my whole life, jeez.

We become the people we are, because of our experiences. I truly believe they shape us. And if we have been lucky enough to have loving parents, then we have a good foundation. But for some of us, we weren't so lucky.

My mother used to hide food in the closet. I remember opening the linen closet to find loaves of bread. I must have been 16. I said "what on earth are you doing, putting food in with the dish towels?" My mother just yelled "well, you eat everything in sight". She said this in front of other people.

My mother was 5 feet tall and little. She was fat as a child, but she lost it at 18 and was so compulsive, she had to be in control.

I remember going out to lunch with her and her friend and I was in my 20's. It was at Nathans. We all had frankfurters and french fries.

I will never forget as long as I live what she did to me in front of the other person. I had a french fry in my fork. She literally knocked it out of my hand saying "you need this like a hole in the head".

See, this crap stays in your head, and makes you feel worthless. So what did I do?? Why I ATE MORE?? I coped with life, by eating.

I guess I've learned better coping mechanisms, huh??? lol

P.S. The next time you see a cereal box, say out loud "Garbage, Garbage". they used to teach us this at Overeaters Anonymous (I went 40 years ago). I remember when the ice cream man came down the block and I shouted "Garbage, Garbage". I really did this. lol

I am sorry that your mother treated you in such an awful way!!! Thank you for sharing that....I think it is great that you are no longer letting her cruelty rule your life....
I forgot to cut my sweetner in 1/2 but will now....gotta get some spring mix in the house and some chicken and fish as well!!!
Hope you have a lovely day Melody!!

Dorrie:

I just realized you live in Canada. I've been there twice. My french came in VERY HANDY when I was there. First I went to Niagara Falls (the American Side), with all it's colors, and Maid of the Mist boat. I was about 7 and my parents took me. Then later on I went with another friend.

Then we went to the Canadian Side. I remember ONE THING ABOUT THAT VACATION. The food was to die for. We ate in a restaurant that had the best loaves of bread I had ever eaten. We ate ourselves stupid that day.

See what the mind remembers, (even at 60)??? FOOD!! lol

I have to start making better memories.

Oh, about the sweetner. In all my research the safest one is Stevia. It tastes like sugar. It's made from plant, and it's natural. So ho harm no foul, and it's better than artificial stuff for the body. I now use this (sometimes I use splenda). But we just purchased a whole bunch of Stevia packets from Stevia.com. They were on sale. 100 packs for something like $2.69 (or thereabouts). relatively cheap then when I go to GNC, and a box is over $6.00. So I got a whole bunch of Stevia that will last us the whole year.

I just put one packet in my coffee. And for Alan, because he likes his stuff REALLY SWEET, well instead of Sweet and Low and splenda on everything, I'll just sprinkle on some Stevia. He was putting honey on everything. I mean EVERYTHING. He has a condition called Taste Perversion because he used to be on the Fentanyl pain patch years ago, and his taste buds got screwey.

So foods that you and I would ordinarily say "oh this is so sweet!!!", well it doesn't register on his tongue. So at least Stevia is a better alternative.

Think about it.

One little change.

You take care.

Nice chatting with you!!!

Melody

Thanks Mel! I learned so much from your post.

Thanks much Shelley:

This morning I went to Dunkin. After that I had to go to the bakery for their home-made breadcrumbs. They are having a special sale 3 bags for 2 bucks. Not bad. I put them in big chinese containers and keep them in the fridge.

I am making turkey meatballs today. I add a half cup of breadcrumbs so they bind together.

Want to know a secret I found out to making MOIST meatballs that are bursting with flavor (not to mention lycopene???)

When I make the meatball mixture, I add some tomato paste. After everything is added, I mush the whole thing together and form them into balls.

I then cook them as usual.

When 30 minutes have past, (on a slow flame), I transfer them to paper towels so they get all the fat, juice, whatever is on them.

I then add them to the tomato sauce I have simmering on the stove.

30 more minutes.

I tell you, when you take a fork and split them, all the tomato goodness just bursts out of the meatball. Alan said "I have never tasted anything so delicious".

So it's cooked tomatoes, which is full of lycopene. And I get to eat the meatballs cause I found it they don't up my sugar.

so everybody's happy.

It's good to learn different foods that I can add to my menu.

I mean, I'm getting a bit tired of salmon.

I do like my Turbot fillet though.

I just came from around the corner (I check on my 77 year old friend). She has family right across the street but no one cares. So I sit on her porch and keep her company.

She gave me a recipe I never thought of for meatballs.

She said: "My mother NEVER fried them, baked them or cooked them before she put them in the pot of sauce".

I said 'what do you mean, she never cooked them, don't you have to brown them first before you put them in the sauce??"

And she said "my mother just made the mixture, (using a lot of breadcrumbs to hold them together I would gather). Then she formed balls, and put the balls into the sauce and cooked on low heat for 60 minutes.

She said 'You have never tasted anything so delicious in your life".

So, Melody is doing this next week.

I shall try a brand new recipe for turkey meatballs.

I can smell the tomato sauce cooking now!!!! lol

Ohhh! Sounds yummy Melody!!!!
I am having dinner late...will post back and share about it!!!!!