*I* *don't* want a relationship!! I think of him as, an older brother,
nothing, more, nothing, less! I told him, this, in an E-mall.
He never responded. But, he's been wonderful to me when we meet
for our support-group. It's *just*, this, Face-Book, issue???

Phyllis

People can perceive things based on their own experience. It is really hard to predict what they want or mean sometimes.

Men often don't discuss verbally "feelings"... and are uncomfortable with that mode. But if you look at ACTIONS/behaviors often the answers are expressed that way.

In this case this guy is expressing something to you, regarding FB membership. This is his way of dealing with this issue. It is obviously not YOUR way, and so you don't understand it.

I think FB is highly overrated. It might be handy for businesses, and groups...and I do have some faves in that category. But I don't myself feel comfortable having alot people on our friends list and reading what coffee they are having this morning, or every detail of their lives. We have a few close friends and that is it. Once the list gets long it becomes a chore to read it all IMO. On the other hand some people LOVE FB... and they have high social needs and FB provides that connection.

I think we all have to accept that these differences exist, and not let them emotionally have negative impacts on our daily lives.

Phyllis, I think we (as women) often read more into things than men do. He probably doesn't even realize that you are upset by the fact he hasn't added you to his FB "friends" list.

I used to overthink things and come to my own conclusions only to find out later that I had gotten all worked up for no reason.

I've been single now for close to 10 years. My DH passed away in 2001. I dated a few men and had a couple of "relationships" since then but learned that I just don't have the emotional energy to invest in a new relationship.

Maybe Joe wanted more of a relationship with you and your email made him realize that you aren't interested in him "that way". He could possibly be pulling away to protect his feelings? I don't know...just a thought. Maybe just give him some time and he'll come around. It sounds like he's had alot of hurt in his life. I can understand his wanting to protect his heart.

I wrote him a *long* e-mail, letting him know, exactly, how I felt!
I told him, I don't think, *any*, of our mutual friends, would do *half*
of what I did for him!! Last Christmas, (his first Christmas, since,
losing his grandson,) I got him a very nice picture frame with his
grandsons' name and the date the he was born, and, the date, he
passed away. I thought, he'd really like that for a picture of his
grandson. He really did like it when he opened it. He said, it was
really special!!

Phyllis

Well, I'd just give him some time.....there could be things going on in his life that you aren't aware of.

I'll be seeing Joe on Wednesday night!!!

Phyllis

What do I say/ how do I act???

Phyllis

I *know*, he'll be in a "mood"!!

Phyllis