Okay! Here's the deal! I attend some support groups for various
mental health conditions. Depression, Anxiety, etc. .
Well, I have a very close, (at least, we were,) in these groups.
Anyhow, lately, my friend's been going through an incredibly
difficult time with some personal issues in his life.
Well, since, he's such a close friend, I've really been devastated,
because, there's really, nothing, I can do, to help him through any
of this. I mean, I've been sobbing, daily, because, I just want to take
all of this away from him and I want to see him happy, again!
Anyhow, the other day, I was at one of my groups and one of our
mutual friends noticed that I was pretty upset about something,
so, they asked, what was wrong. Well, I guess, I was so upset, I just
needed someone to talk to. So, I told our mutual friend why, I was so
upset and I explained that I just wanted, so much, to help our mutual
friend through his issues. Anyhow, I didn't think, this would happen,
but, my friend found out what happened! Now, he feels, I've betrayed
his trust, so, he can't/ won't talk to me, about things, anymore.
Thing is, I honestly wasn't trying to reveal his personal business.
Actually, I did what, I did, because, I do, care about him!! Anyhow, I just
need to know, did I do something wrong, because, I *care* about my
friend, which, is why, I needed to talk to our mutual friend about,
If, my friend would talk to me and I could explain, I think, he might,
understand.

Phyllis

It's a matter of trust I think Phyllis. Your heart was in the right place..perhaps he'll be able to forgive you given time.

And in retrospect, I know, I should've, known, better! I just hope, in time, he'll realize where my heart was!!


Phyllis

Hi Phyllis, I think I found your thread you mentioned last night.

I agree with Alffe.

I find even in my own neighbourhood that these issues occur. Hopefully he will understand and get over it and you can be friends again.

I just wish he could understand that I did this, because, I was
so upset, because, I couldn't help *him*!!

Phyllis

In case, anyone else has any thoughts???

Phyllis

Okay! Here's the deal! I attend some support groups for various
mental health conditions.
__________________________
Okay. Here's the deal: Attending support groups for whatever reasons, be it e.g. Al-Anon, whatever, in my experience, has very basic confidentiality 'ground rules', re: "What's shared here, stays here!"
It's what allows such groups to actually function vs. dysfuntion.
(I, a woman, would feel similarly "respect & confidentiality breeched" in a similar experience, no matter *how* good/close that friendship.)

You do obviously care greatly about your friend. I wish you healing within your friendship.

He was sharing them, privately, on facebook

Phyllis

Zeta, I just saw your post, so, thank you! I apologize for not replying sooner,
but, my days now, are spent mostly, on Facebook. Anyhow, I'm sorry to say, my
friend has decided, he's talking only, to his therapist, now. Personally. I wish
he'd done that from the beginning, before, I was dragged into it. Anyhow!
When I see him, now, he always asks me how l'm doing. Ya know, "hi, how are
you", because, that's just what you do when you encounter a friend/
acquaintance. (sp??) So, before, he decided to quit talking to me about things,
I'd always reply, "Okay, thanks, but, more importantly, "How are, *YOU*????
to me about things, whenever I saw him, he would still ask me how I was
doing. Well! Whenever *I*. used to ask *him*. how he was doing, he'd always
reply, "stressed!" Anyhow! Now, when I see him and he asks, "How are you?".
I just say, "good, thanks!" I just can't ask him how he's doing, anymore,
because, he'll just say, "stressed" and that kills me! I *want* to ask him,
but, I can't handle hearing that, now, that he won't confide in me, anynore!
I just can't deal with knowing/ hearing that he's still hurting, if, he won't
confide in me, anymore!

Phyllis