Okay! Here's the deal! I attend some support groups for various
mental health conditions. Depression, Anxiety, etc. .
Well, I have a very close, (at least, we were,) in these groups.
Anyhow, lately, my friend's been going through an incredibly
difficult time with some personal issues in his life.
Well, since, he's such a close friend, I've really been devastated,
because, there's really, nothing, I can do, to help him through any
of this. I mean, I've been sobbing, daily, because, I just want to take
all of this away from him and I want to see him happy, again!
Anyhow, the other day, I was at one of my groups and one of our
mutual friends noticed that I was pretty upset about something,
so, they asked, what was wrong. Well, I guess, I was so upset, I just
needed someone to talk to. So, I told our mutual friend why, I was so
upset and I explained that I just wanted, so much, to help our mutual
friend through his issues. Anyhow, I didn't think, this would happen,
but, my friend found out what happened! Now, he feels, I've betrayed
his trust, so, he can't/ won't talk to me, about things, anymore.
Thing is, I honestly wasn't trying to reveal his personal business.
Actually, I did what, I did, because, I do, care about him!! Anyhow, I just
need to know, did I do something wrong, because, I *care* about my
friend, which, is why, I needed to talk to our mutual friend about,
If, my friend would talk to me and I could explain, I think, he might,
understand.

Phyllis

It's a matter of trust I think Phyllis. Your heart was in the right place..perhaps he'll be able to forgive you given time.

And in retrospect, I know, I should've, known, better! I just hope, in time, he'll realize where my heart was!!


Phyllis

Hi Phyllis, I think I found your thread you mentioned last night.

I agree with Alffe.

I find even in my own neighbourhood that these issues occur. Hopefully he will understand and get over it and you can be friends again.

I just wish he could understand that I did this, because, I was
so upset, because, I couldn't help *him*!!

Phyllis

In case, anyone else has any thoughts???

Phyllis

You can only do the best you can do. Your heart was in the right place. Sometimes a person who is depressed is very sensitive. Hopefully he will realize in your effort to help him, you talked about him to try and help the situation. I have done this too, my son is depressed, and I had to talk to others to be able to cope, and try and help. Maybe with a little time, you can explain to him how much you care. ginnie

I could shake him and make him see that this wasn't a matter
of him, not, being able to trust me, anymore!!
I'll be seeing him on Wednesday. What, the hell, do I say/ do???

Phyllis

Make it about him Phyllis, not about you. He probably feels that you can't handle his "dumping" on you so he shouldn't do it anymore. I would apologize to him, given the opportunity to do so in private, and tell him that you only want the best for him and will try to help, if listening helps.

It may not help, BUT, I KNOW, it can't mess things up more, than, I have,
already!

Phyllis