First, forgive the fake name- I don't want to expose identities. I am 2yrs 3 months in recovery from severe traumatic injury, with frontal and temporal lobe damage. My partners behaviour has always been worrying since my accident, and though we lived together for 1 year after hospital treatments, I had to leave as it was too stressful. I couldn't understand her mood changes, possible secretive alcohol abuse, unpredictability and changability. It was also difficult to recover as a person to recover at the same time. However, we renewed friendship and we are still close, but live apart, but I have to be careful to turn off my phone in case she practically an episode (up to 5 or 6). She is currently in an extreme bout. About 6 weeks ago, she called to say it's ok that we separate. It was wonderfully brave and loving of her, and I was relieved as I knew that she was not able to cope with my TBI impairments. It would free up her life and my own, but we could still be friends. She had had an affair, which I forgave, and still do. But then she started fighting with her friends and family, became incomprehensible at times, has been accused of being an alcoholic by some members of her family and they were all calling me as if it was my fault. I felt under pressure to pretend that I would go back, but I can't. Then she started threatening to kill herself, making claims she got the worst deal (which doesn't make sense to me). I told her legal matters were bottom of the list for me, but that even though I am not her husband, I am her friend, but just cannot go into certain levels with her. This was very difficult. I am also currently in adjustment to medication for frontal lobe damage. I arranged with her to see my psychiatrist (which I would have to switch to make this possible) then call her family to say that she is getting the care she needs, and that she will tell them about it when she is ready. I also had to say I cannot be an intermediary- I can't function on that level. The next step was just to wait for her appointment. Then today, texted her to say hi and give my support, but she didn't answer. Finally she did call me and said she was now in a mental hospital and had volunteered herself in. It was horrific. To my mind, this seems like a bipolar episode depressive phase- but what can I do? I can't visit her as I can't drive, so would be dependent on family, but then goes on to say she hates my family and I'm not allowed to tell them. She also seems to blame all of this because I'm gone and I'm very very worried that she will pressure me into making a false claim that I'll come back to her, which is impossible. We have seen family counselling many times, where it's impossible to talk as she goes into extremely high emotional states- I'm confused and feel paranoid and feel as I'm am to blame for her mental illness, even though I almost died two years ago... has any other TBI survivor had to experience their partners, ex or otherwise, have a mental illness while you are in recovery from TBI? I'm in shock- I don't know what to do and I have to keep this secret- and she keeps threatening suicide. Is it an act? Is it covert abuse? Is it undiagnosed bipolar disorder she has or this alcoholism? I can't even tell her family for fear of what she'll do - is she wearing her version of my injuries (which are very different)? I can't tell anymore- I feel like I'm in limbo and would just like some insight from outside.