Pam, that sounds good to me.

I hope that the "clean-up" of the property isn't too stressful.

All being well with the sale going through in the hoped for timespan, there should be no cleanup required. The sale is “as is”. I am hopeful it will go our way.

Things are coming together. The sale of the house will be by April 11th and we will be mortgage free, well until the tax man says pay up on capital gains. I’ll have to borrow to pay my share.

I have got my aligners and she still says 14 weeks, so I’ve had them in for a week, 13 to go. I confess some days they really bother me, and sometimes I forget they’re there. Last night they were bothersome... oh well it will be worth it!

DB and I see each on the weekends, I’m not sure what will happen, we start counselling end March /early April. I was bemused to hear him tell my mother last night he’s moving back at the end of May, well he said it depends on her, if she will have me. Got that right!

That all sounds really good Pam.

I hope that you and DB can work something out which works well for you.

:hug:

The investment house is sold and the pond is now gone. I am hopeful these 2 things gone will bring some peace to my life. I can live in hope.

The aligner braces are going well, I’m on my 3rd set and have to put new ones in every Tuesday morning for the next 6 weeks. They are fiddly and I’m fast becoming over cleaning my teeth every time I eat or drink something. But I’m sure by the time July rolls round I will be happy.

Pam,
How is work coming along? I remember your mentioning full time has been difficult because of pain issues. Hope all is going well for you...

Gerry

It’s tough Gerry, much tougher than I anticipated, and I am so very tired. My sleep patterns remain severely disrupted, I awake 3 or 4 times a night, rise between 4 & 5am because I just can’t go back to sleep. My brain is like a racetrack with thoughts constantly circling. The job itself mentally draining and while I enjoy it, I confess to feeling overwhelmed. The admin support I was promised has been missing and even though they say tap into it, when I ask it bounces back or is exorbitantly slow in being actioned. It will possibly be extended for a further 4 weeks post end June and of course there is no guarantee my old job will exist. This one I’m doing certainly will not. I must live for each day now, it’s pointless looking ahead. Nothing I imagined in my life is as it was so there is little point to plan.

Pam,
It's been a while since you last posted an update.
You had mentioned you and DB were going to go to counseling. How are things coming along between the two of you. Is he still hopeful moving back in at the end of May?

Work appears to be both physically and mentally exhausting. After this position is through; do you think you will be able to return to part time work?


Gerry

I’m not sure work wise Gerry, apparently I’m doing a good job and they want me to stay on, I just deal with one day at a time, it’s impossible to plan with so much happening in the organisation.

DB, last month I told him it was over, finito, finished and cut all contact. My actions must have scared him into facing reality.

He has moved home this weekend and i have agreed we will go to counselling. Time will tell. I didn’t want him to move back home, and repeatedly told him to stay where he was but as I have found out, I couldn’t prevent it. He is in a very dark unreadable place, suicide is a reality and life remains difficult.

I must be an unusual person, moving back here, all that he bought has come with him, seeing the things he bought to set up home has really revealed to me how manic he was in his behaviour. I can see he had hopes and dreams for a different life and I can find it in my heart to feel sad for him those dreams were unreachable.

I can’t shake the feeling his moving back here is for him to get his life back on track. From the day he left and said he wanted a break, he’s not gone a single day without attempting to contact me. Perhaps he sees me as his lifeline, but one thing I do know, and I’ve made it clear. I am not the woman I was. If he wants to live here, he has to live with who I am now. If he can’t deal with that, tough luck. his actions helped me find me again.

Pam, I really admire your strength.

:hug: