I am Brenda, 36-year-old marketing director of a local high tech firm and in line for promotion to vice-president. I am socially active and travel each day 100 miles to & from work. At surface everything seems fine but my life is totally in a mess. I am in tremendous pressure from my boyfriend and my mother to settle down and get married but I don’t think I’m prepared. Sometime I really feel stress out, my breath shorting, feeling pain in my chest, dizziness, and tingling sensations in my fingers and toes. I visited a cardiologist who told me it has nothing to do with heart attack but to stress t this stage. I have started a bit exercising and avoiding caffeine and alcohol. Please tell me if anyone knows about stress relief patches and from where they could be available. Thanks a lot!

Hi. Welcome to NeuroTalk.
I don't know anything about stress relief patches I'm sorry, although I have seen mention of them advertised on other messages boards recently.

The shortness of breath, dizzy feelings and tingling sounds a bit like part of an anxiety or panic attack, esp. if you've seen a cardiologist and they've determined that your heart is fine. I've had anxiety issues and panic attacks on and off during my life. I guess the most important thing I ever did was to learn about what a panic attack actually does to the body and then I was more aware of what was happening with my body and anxiety levels. i.e. I could then try to keep my baseline anxiety from crossing the line into full blown panic attack as they can be very debilitating indeed. I look at my own anxiety as the baseline and the spikes are the times when it gets too much and goes over into panic and causes those symptoms you described above with the shortness of breath and dizzy and tingling etc.. ____/\__/\_____/\

Try to get some downtime. You sound as if you live a very full and energetic life which is great as long as we also have the downtime. Maybe some relaxation techniques can be learned that you can do even while you're sitting in the car parked at the red light. Breathing is something we sometimes forget to do properly and learning good breathing techniques can really help us to ward off the anxiety attacks. Yoga classes or exercize generally is good for people. Gets all those good hormones running around in our bodies. Pressure about marriage from other people wouldn't be helping, especially if you're already so busy. That's your business, not theirs. Once you're feeling less anxious about everything else going on in your life, you'll find other things will fall into place. Hope you're feeling better soon.

Tips to cope with panic attacks plus other links regarding generalized anxiety, panic attacks and other anxiety issues.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/tip...-panic-attack/
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/tre...anic-disorder/

why don't you get a personal physician....it is a lot better than trying to pick up good medical information from strangers. Your decision making ability is flawed to say the least.

((((((Brenda)))))),

Welcome to NeuroTalk



Michael had kind of an abrupt way of saying it, but, he hit the nail right on the head: I wouldn't be taking drugs (and patches ARE drugs) that strangers recommend to me.

I WOULD get a complete physical to make sure that everything's OK.

I don't work any longer. I retired 6 years ago because my back refused to go any further I spent decades working in high-pressure environments (with CPAs and lawyers, production word processing, computer helpdesks). I did that (and did it WELL) along with major psychiatric 'issues' and 'family issues'.

There are ways of coping with stress:

(1) Sit down with a good psychiatrist for an agreed-upon number of sessions to determine WHY you put yourself at the bottom of the list.

You ARE at the bottom of the list if you allow Mom and boyfriend to determine WHEN you should be getting married.

Have you sat down with yourself in a quiet space and determined what your future is to be with THIS MAN and what your future is relative to HAVING CHILDREN??

(2) There are endless techniques for learning how to relax your body. My particular favorite is 'The Rainbow Butterfly' from www.drmiller.com/products/spirit.html -- the website seems to be down right now.

I've collected a bunch of bookmarks related to Coping, Inspirational and Personal Growth (press the [page-down] key 1 time to get to the appropriate section)

and Holistic and Healing (press [page-down] 3 times to get to the appropriate section)

(3) Another is to use art to get in touch with what's really going on inside of you. Get a big piece of paper (the bigger the better) and some big fat crayons. Sit on the floor and draw a picture of yourself. Draw everything the way that it REALLY is. The color of your hair. Any pain in your body. The kind of clothes that you're wearing. Make sure to draw the PANIC -- Where is it?? What color is it?? How big is it?? Draw until something 'clicks'. That 'something' will be your inner intuition telling you that you have drawn EXACTLY what is bothering you.

An example: my wrists were hurting me -- both of them. I had taken a very bad fall on the left wrist and it was infected. Sensory deficits were determined by the nerve and muscle conducting tests that I had done. There was nothing showing up on the right-hand side. So ... I drew. I drew a picture of an unhappy young woman standing there crying with an axe in her hand trying to chop her hand off to stop her brother from pulling her into the grave with him. My brother had committed suicide when he was 21 and I was 22. I had attempted suicide many times. The picture was drawn when I was close to 40. The discovery from the drawing: I had to let go of my brother or he was going to pull me down with him. THAT'S when I went to the psychiatrist AGAIN and talked about what was REALLY bothering me.

Brenda, you've obviously got something major going on. And it isn't just because Mom and boyfriend are pestering you to get married.

You spend close to 4 hours a day commuting to a job. And yet you say that you have a 'balanced' life. Not on your life, sugar

You've got some major work that you need to do about: putting yourself at the top of the list, whether or not you want to keep this job and the natural progressions of it, setting boundaries, setting limits, time management.

When's the last time that you spent an hour sitting by a lake or a pond and just listening to the sounds of The Universe happening around you??

When's the last time that you took your shoes and socks off and puddle-stomped??

When's the last time that you threw on some blue jeans and a t-shirt and got down on the ground with that boyfriend of yours and rolled around in the leaves and just laughed from the sheer joy of being alive??

When's the last time that you bought yourself flowers??

Been awhile, huh??

I'm of the the opinion that The Universe guides us where we need to go next. Sometimes we need to go somewhere because we're needed as a teacher. Other times we need to go somewhere because there is a lesson that we need to learn.

The Universe uses a very soft, quiet voice to guide us on our journeys.

EXCEPT,

when we don't pay attention. That's when The Universe **SHOUTS**. You're experiencing a HUGE SHOUT from The Universe. You are not living the life that you are supposed to live -- that's why The Universe has put this gigantic roadblock in front of you to get you to slow down and pay attention and LISTEN.

You've got some work to do. It's up to you whether or not you choose to do it. BIG HUGS.

Barb

Hello...I agree, unless a doctor strongly feels that you need medication like a stress relief patch, I wouldn't look to that as the answer.
I can tell you what has helped me with excessive stress and what can suggest from clues from your post might help.
First of all, it is said that the B Vitamins often help with stress. B6 helps with depression, B12 helps with fatigue...they are all around helpful.
So, I would consider taking a B50 tablet daily.
The exercise that you have already started is a wonderful idea. Can you exercise 30 mins. 5-6 times a week?
Can you use an IPOD or MP3 Player while doing this? In addition, spend at least some of your exercise time outdoors in the bright light or near a window. (Get some light in).
Also, make sure you do your best to eat properly, drink a little extra water. No need for your physical body to be under excessive stress too!
All of Moose's suggestions are great. I also agree that reading is a great way to delve into finding answers to your stress dilemmas.
Go to your library (you can even find out how to do stuff on line with your local library) and get some books on meditation, relaxation, stress relief, boundaries and detachment. At 36, you should not let your mother have a tremendous influence in your life. Don't worry about ANY of this. My guess is that you've spent a lot of time on your career, and now you need a little extra time to spend on some other aspects of your life. It's all a balaning act.
A few other things to consider: Buying books on tape to use in the car during your commute and seeing a therapist to get some additional ideas and/or develop a plan. If you don't get relief soon, I would get to a medical doctor for tests and/or medication for additional support.

I also don't know about stress relief patches, unless you are talking about herbal ones, then try the health food stores.

What I do want you to know is you can say,"No" to mom and bf! Marriage is such a commitment, and a desired union and should not be taken so lightly (as they seem to.) Heavens if the "bride to be" can't feel it, then there can't be a marriage! Doh! You have permission (from yourself) to tell them NO. No excuses needed. (Sounds to me like they are feeding each other to compel you. Don't fall for that.) That right there, putting your foot down, will relieve a great amount of stress, imo.

Try meditation. Getting alone some place you feel comfortable, and just... calm yourself and breathe... and think good thoughts... don't worry about the stressors, they will begin to work "out" imo. (((hugs)))

TC
JD