Yea it is very hard which is why I try to keep it hidden from everyone because I feel like as if I am a freak because if they do know thats all they see in me. They dont focus on anything else. It is very frustrating and the older I get the more it bothers me because I hate the way our society views topics even though there is nothing I can do. Like I learned in Western Civilization that in the Middle ages people with disabilities were looked down on as if their life was not important and were killed or left behind as children/babies. I know that we have laws that prevent that but in reality people still view people as freaks if you have even the smallest thing wrong with you. They do not want to understand the reasoning for it but find it easier to harpoon negative things to you or behind your back.

Then, If disability happens after the two people have already started a relationship, people will avoid your health problems like the plague. My (ex)wife knew about my health problems, before we got married. But when I needed her, she looked at me like I was freak.

That was a low blow right there what she did. That's horrible. It's disgusting. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I really can't find the right words to express the utter disgust I feel. I do not want people to avoid me like the plague because that is what I dealt with all my life starting from kindergarden so it is very hard to find people who will accept me. I just want to get rid of these fears because I feel as if I am not in control anymore but my fears took over.

I feel the same exact way.

Recently, An online friend of mine, that I have known for ten years, accused me of using my health problems, as a crutch. Not too soon after she made that comment, she too was diagnosed with Hydrocephalus n' Epilepsy. I just hope she never needs a shunt revision. Because, She n' her fiance certainly don't think of it as a possibility.

Glad to meet you through NT. Just thought to tell you, that sometimes people do accuse disabled folks of using that as a crutch. You know as well as I do that usually isn't the case at all. Most people really have and struggle with those issues we present here. Just pray for that person, and hope her own health problems can be resolved. I hope you are OK, and that your own medical issues have some resolution too. Have a good rest of the day. ginnie

Ginnie, You are so right about being accused of using it as a crutch, and them not understanding the struggles. She is on an anti-convulsant like me, for Epilepsy, and like me has Hydrocephalus. She is bursting with confidence that she can handle anything sent her way. While I admire that. She has also used it against me. She did apologize for that.

My medical issues did flare up Super Bowl Weekend of 2011. When I had a grand-mal seizure. That was the most recent, after 2005. But that was due to exposure from the fumes of resetting the heating tank.